Hello DiS.

I was looking forward to having the office all to myself this morning, so I could play the radio as loud as I want and possibly dance around to the Pet Shop Boys should the urge arise. I arrived to find what can only be described as a boss-eyed numbnuts sitting at the desk opposite me.

Worse, he's on the phone ALL THE FUCKING TIME saying things like "Hi...Dan...how's it going mate? Yah, yah, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No, that's marvellous, you're a superstar! Ciao!"

I'm not usually one for impaling someone on a coat stand and then force-feeding him their mobile phone, but I'm willing to make an exception in this case.

Cheers