And why has he got such fucking stupid hair?
Now I was going to just leave that there, but I looked him up on Wikipedia, felt a little bad about writing it when it told me that his hair is a result of a childhood accident...
...but was more astounded to see the line "He made his England debut replacing Rio Ferdinand against Estonia on October 13." had been added WHILE HE WAS STILL JUST RUNNING ON TO THE PITCH!
Someone is either taking their Wiki responsibilities VERY seriously, or they have a time machine. Which is it?