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Getting tested

dove_from_above [Edit] [Delete] 62 replies 17:56, 10 October '07

You know, THE test. This is going to be horrible, isn't it? I mean, the actual process involved. I don't like cotton buds :(

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  • ^ cock in hand

    bamos | 10 Oct '07, 17:57 | X
    • Not quite yet

      Tomorrow, 3pm

      dove_from_above @bamos | 10 Oct '07, 17:57 | X
      • Want me to come and hold your hand/cock?

        Good luck x

        bamos @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 17:59 | X
  • eeeeeeeeeek

    good luck, essex slag

    sophiacherryx | 10 Oct '07, 17:59 | X
  • Oh my

    :(

    Dalkin | 10 Oct '07, 17:59 | X
  • They take a small swab from your willy,

    a blood test and a urine sample.

    TheoGB | 10 Oct '07, 17:59 | X
    • The word 'swab' is just... rank

      dove_from_above @TheoGB | 10 Oct '07, 18:00 | X
      • It's a tiny little thing not a full on cotton bud

        It's not as bad as you'd think but it is bad.

        TheoGB @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:02 | X
        • YEAH

          my friend christian was describing it in great detail the other day. he alwasy requests a woman but this time he had to have a man and he HATED it.
          'oh my god, he's touching my cock, oh no, he's pulling back my foreskin...' etc etc :(

          sophiacherryx @TheoGB | 10 Oct '07, 18:04 | X
          • Somewhat bizarrely

            I think I'd prefer a man to do it. I had a doctor cup my balls a couple of years back. That was pretty intense

            dove_from_above @sophiacherryx | 10 Oct '07, 18:06 | X
            • That's a genuine technique that tailors use

              don't you know?

              Dalkin @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:07 | X
              • I didn't know that

                But what I do know is that I now want a tailored suit

                dove_from_above @Dalkin | 10 Oct '07, 18:10 | X
            • scrotum :(

              sophiacherryx @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:08 | X
          • does this experience hurt

            or is it just a general, hetero male fear of OH GOD THERE'S A MAN NEAR MY WILLY?

            not being a cunt, just genuinely curious....

            -gen- @sophiacherryx | 10 Oct '07, 18:30 | X
            • I think it's more

              (well, for me) the knowing that something is going to be going IN there, y'know?

              *shudders*

              dove_from_above @-gen- | 10 Oct '07, 18:33 | X
              • aah

                it's a psychological thing?

                ok.

                just wondered. it seems to be an experience viewed with far more fear than the female experience of going to a gynaecologist [male or female] - though as your post indirectly points out, men's genitalia generally doesn't have internal visitors, so i suppose i can understand the fear.

                -gen- @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:36 | X
              • like people

                who can't hack even imagining something touching there eyeball.

                Frances14 @dove_from_above | 11 Oct '07, 03:13 | X
  • Its one of those things

    that has to be done.

    Be brave.

    olegrich | 10 Oct '07, 18:00 | X
    • Cheers broseph

      dove_from_above @olegrich | 10 Oct '07, 18:01 | X
  • this is the only reason

    I'm glad I don't have loads of sex with 'randoms'.

    harru | 10 Oct '07, 18:00 | X
    • But do you have sex with

      random?

      dove_from_above @harru | 10 Oct '07, 18:01 | X
      • no :(

        is she hott?

        harru @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:02 | X
        • .

          Community -> Browse profiles -> 'random' -> Search =

          No profile pic

          dove_from_above @harru | 10 Oct '07, 18:03 | X
          • Like, um...

            Just stop. She's married and has a kid. Some respect, please...

            TheoGB @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:06 | X
            • Easy squire

              Is it not ethical to see if I find somebody physically attractive if they are married with a child?

              dove_from_above @TheoGB | 10 Oct '07, 18:08 | X
              • Hey I just meant stop.

                There's only so far. I thought you'd reached the point where you were about to go beyond that. :D

                TheoGB @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 19:04 | X
          • she is hott

            yes :)

            nice_squirrel @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:12 | X
    • sex with randoms = yuck

      sophiacherryx @harru | 10 Oct '07, 18:08 | X
      • *yum

        LordLuciusBanter @sophiacherryx | 10 Oct '07, 18:09 | X
        • nah

          you cant be anywhere near as filthy with someone you dont know too well ;)

          sophiacherryx @LordLuciusBanter | 10 Oct '07, 18:17 | X
          • erm, I'd say you can

            dove_from_above @sophiacherryx | 10 Oct '07, 18:18 | X
            • yeah well, you're a slut

              sophiacherryx @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 18:42 | X
            • i'd say

              you can be more filthy, especially if you're not going to have to see them again.

              guntrip @dove_from_above | 10 Oct '07, 19:11 | X
              • i wouldn't feel comfortable enough with a stranger to open up sexually

                haha 'open up sexually'

                sophiacherryx @guntrip | 10 Oct '07, 19:40 | X
  • they didnt do me,

    just a wee wee test.

    i dint knwo that tho till the end. i was in fear for 2weeks

    meths | 10 Oct '07, 18:01 | X
    • when was that?

      klaire @meths | 10 Oct '07, 18:20 | X
      • oh dear

        Perhaps klaire needs a little check up too, eh?

        dove_from_above @klaire | 10 Oct '07, 18:32 | X
        • :)

          bamos @dove_from_above | 11 Oct '07, 12:15 | X
  • Stephen Fry would want you to!

    be brave.

    nice_squirrel | 10 Oct '07, 18:07 | X
    • This is actually why I'm having it done

      Not sex with Stephen Fry, you understand. But his programme led to a conversation which led to me doing the 'right thing', so to speak

      dove_from_above @nice_squirrel | 10 Oct '07, 18:09 | X
      • By the time they've finished poking stuff up your willy

        you're quite relieved to be having the blood test at the end of it.

        On the upside they can tell you pretty quickly if they think you have anything.

        I had one done by an old lady - I remember all I could think was: "This old must have seen THOUSANDS of cocks," and then "How amazing would it be if she said: 'I've HAVE seen thousands upon thousands of cocks, and I must say this is the finest I have yet encountered' and then pinned a rosette on it".

        By then it was all over. It's no big deal by the way - all over in a jiff - like an injection.

        tippimit | 10 Oct '07, 18:16 | X
        • haha

          did she not say that though?

          nice_squirrel @tippimit | 10 Oct '07, 18:17 | X
          • erm

            of course - the rosette's on my shelf now - next to my olympic medals

            tippimit @nice_squirrel | 10 Oct '07, 18:19 | X
        • This is the funniest post since forever.

          crablin @tippimit | 10 Oct '07, 18:55 | X
          • seconded

            keiths_tele @crablin | 10 Oct '07, 19:28 | X
      • NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

        *cries*

        Yesiamaduck @Kid_A | 11 Oct '07, 02:54 | X
        • saved

          Parsefone @Kid_A | 11 Oct '07, 03:05 | X
          • I COULDNT HELP BUT NOTICE

            THE MOULD ON YOUR FANNY

            http://tinyurl.com/3y2f8k

            Parsefone @Kid_A | 11 Oct '07, 03:54 | X
            • Its really not that bad

              its the thought thats the worst part, but I have had it done twice now, the 2nd time was a breeze!

              PS - I'm STI free! w00p

              Yesiamaduck | 11 Oct '07, 02:43 | X
            • I hear they do terrible things in those clinics

              terrible things to your cock

              Parsefone | 11 Oct '07, 03:06 | X
            • It's fine

              and lasts about 5 seconds

              I did have a REALLY attractive person doing it though. That probably made it better.

              roastthemonaspit | 11 Oct '07, 12:25 | X
              • Inadvertent arousal?

                bamos @roastthemonaspit | 11 Oct '07, 12:26 | X
            • I pissed in a jar.

              The lies beforehand though........*shudders*

              fullerov | 11 Oct '07, 13:27 | X
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