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if so, how much toilet roll do they use?
if not, why not? is shaking enough?
I always carry some travel-sized soap with me wherever I go.
BECAUSE I AM A MAN GRRRRRR
would be better?
Also whilst we're on those kinds of subjects, when a man does a number two where does the penis go? Does it flop on the oilet seat, or is it angled down the toilet bowl?
no, this links back to the 'why do you poo and wee at the same time' thread.
i need that fucking link!
But where would all the wee wee go?
coz the penis is detached from the bum hole, say you know you want a poo but not a wee, you might want to give your penis a holiday and flop him on the toilet seat.
the chances of needing to piss at the same time are rather high.
If the big tap opens, so does the little one, so to speak.
Atleast this will now save you from sneaking into the male toilets next time you go out.
and you were doing a poo, couldn't you get poo on your willy?
I never really thought about it but now I am.
i love girls
Because no matter how often you shake your peg,
There's always a drop runs down your leg.
you shake, the tip's always still damp. So when you wear certain shorts it always spots..
i think so
why do i do this to myself?
:D (again) this thread is great
No I won't make a bad joke...
and is looking for tips to fit in with the male community. maybe.
HALF AN HOUR
lolling at it's frighteningness in capitals
These sorts of things make me lmao for some reazun.
Then I read you say that and laughed even more.
HE'S HOLDING OUT OF THE WINDOW FOR A HALF AN HOUR.
HE'S GOTTA BE STRONG AND HE'S GOTTA BE TOUGH AND HE'S GOTTA BE FRESH FROM THE FIGHT.
as your rendition of sexyback.
I wash it in the sink after every wizz
Occasionally in pubs this can prove problematic, but I'm generally pretty stealthy about it. Never been caught yet, and my cock always smells fresh enough to blow.
30 replies in 5 minutes.
but i am genuinely interested. doesn't it leave a little wet patch on your panties if you don't wipe? doesn't shaking it hurts after a while?
into a normal toilet bowl was on the original Krypton Factor, I think.
One nanosecond of lapsed concentration and there's all sorts of woe.
after this krypton factor post and this one http://www.drownedinsound.com/articles/2467269#r2467335
i think i might get sent home.
for all to see
not 5 minutes of vigorous shaking
that if there's a little crevice which still contains some urine that isn't disposed of until after the willy has been returned to a downright position?
is that the same hole you haystack in?
you can check
not having a penis, no.
That's just a fact. Men who think it is tend to have little pee stains on the corners of their shirts from tucking them back into their trousers after doing 'the business'.
for this from now on!
and maybe do a slapp on the my inner thighs. try and get a tune going.
I hate having a damp tip, so i usually use a sheet just to remove excess.
Isn't it strange that i would tell this all to you who are effectively strangers, but not to my friends? Actually, who am I kidding!? Of course I would.
followed by a spell on the mangle.
there will be a gloopy wee/cum hybrid that needs a touch of toot paper.
but yeah, only one square needed
does it react?
What a lesson that was. 32 cranking men = one exploded portakabin.
then slippery when wet
I think I saw Jon tickle doing that.
than sophia's comment. well done.
mines was just an acknowlegement that male ejaculate can linger a little, and that pee and cum come from the same-ish place
same exit point
well it was but I HATE YOU ALL
if only i could say i didnt hate myself even more :'(
oman, why the hell did i even open this thread?
toilet roll if you're standing at a urinal? You'd have to pre-plan. Ridiculous! I just let it run and say I did it washing my hands
did you use the sleeve of your hoody?
back to work now i think
ABANDON THREAD EVERYBODY OUT!
Best. Monday. Ever.
At a urinal it's trickier, so I generally just wipe it on the trousers of the person standing next to me. You'd be surprised how angry some people get about that.
If I don't leave a toilet with Go Faster Stripes of Piss on my jeans I class it as a failure.
that said 'wet feet at funerals', and was about to ask if you get some kind of kick from urinating on coffins or something.
However, turns out that's not what you wrote at all.
to play PISSYGRAVE!!! Even the ladies. Especially the ladies.
Especially if no-one told the vicar what was about to happen, and then halfway through his 'ashes to ashes' bit someone yells 'PISSYGRAVE!!!' and everyone standing around the coffin has a leak on it while the vicar condemns everyone to hell and stuff.
I can't wait for your funeral - when is it?
'kill the vicar' in French.
Could help you avoid problems if you decide to stage Bamos' funeral in Brittany.
I NNEED WE I NNEED WE I NNEED WE
since ricky otto?
is certainly growing fast
alan partridge reference!!!
the quality of this thread gets better and better
i can't get enough penis
if you get leprasy of the penis it goes green and falls off.
Penises are fucking ridiculous. Its the psyduck of the genital world.
to the amazing psyduck!
trickle down my leg and discreetly out the bottom, no need for any of this wiping malarkey.
someone to wipe for you? nice.
"I dry mine in a dyson airblade"
Trockene Grube I in einem Dyson Airblade
seriously the best thread ever
(yes i eat dinner early cos im common)
and it hasn't even put me off
constitution of an ox me GRR
future wily wiping?
or *Lil Chris
Have I missed anything?
quick - get up there ^^^^
I've only got 7 minutes! That's barely enough time to wipe a pissycock!
(you're right, it did!)
I've been wiping peoples penii all afternoon!
dabs only, hence i always like to use a cubical, although this is considered to be ghey, in pubs.
If there is no paper or cubicals taken and there arnt too many others in there then you can always use the hand air dryer to dry off....luckily you can adjust most to point down
christ, i can't imagine this. if women had urinals and just whipped out their uretheral orifices i would be mortified and wouldn't mind being called a dyke if it meant someone saw my urethera
all i can think about is some sort of central office for vaginas
forgotten how to find it now tho!
except Urethra Franklin.
Fillopian Schofield, for one!
I get stagefright!
fancy a shag?
that used to be the rule in my local......stage fright, using the cubical or going more than once every three pints meant you were a pinko
thats superhuman. or i'm sub-human.
I suspect it was just something that got thrown at many people, i just didnt cotton on.
if you had a fag you had to keep it in your mouth without using your hands, looking down was a bugger cos your eyes would end up stinging
Ill LOL myself
but my masculinity was already at rock bottom so i was cool with it.
and i decide its best to have your sexuality questioned occasionally (as happens to me sometimes anyway) than constantly need a piss.
do women do a similar thing?
and love looking at mine.
THAT YOU WASH YOUR HANDS!
by whose hands smelt of piss the most?
(mechanical oil that is)
what did i miss?
and just as i was losing faith in dis
you had to do a large loud spit into it first, you had to keep your fag in your mouth without using your hands on it, if you looked down your eye would be buggered and sting for ages, tears would roll down your face as you came back into the pub and once again you'd be accused of feyness.
Of course now you cant smoke in the loos
also, did you have to put one hand against the wall?
It would indicate that perhaps you have had an enourmous amount to drink and are having problems standing up (and that is very manly)
but I was proud of it.
Because I'm usually going commando in white trousers.
(Disclaimer: I've never done that)
So what do you do in a urinal situation. Do you just shake and hope it does the trick? Or do you take a wee bit of loo roll from a cubicle first. And what's the point in urinals anyway, why not just use a cubical??
They're totally gay.
After all that hot hot disco dancing I need a little sit down / time to check Facebook on mobile / weep silently.
have it tied so it is long and afix an absorbant pad to the back side of it.
Then you can discretely dab whilst at the urinal
i want to know about the french way
I went to the tolet to discover that inside the cubicle in the ladies, there was just holes in the floor and places to put your feet while you squat. No toilet paper or nothing. There was poo smeared on the wall. I had to hold it in for hours 'til we got somewhere with real loos.
Now when the conversation turns to the EU, I will take the anti-Euro stance. As my opponents carefully construct their economic and welfare arguments I will smugly sit back, wait for them to finish and then say "they shit on the walls", automatically winning
'and that just the women'
They do it here too! Yuck.
about two hundred of the replies are from meths. And no, of course you don't wipe. Gives you a reason to change your underwear every day
i really hope you didnt count
I love you.
this thread had 250+ posts written all over it
I just smack my willy against the wall and tell it to stop leaking. Usually it obeys.
is a wank.
Surely everyone must wipe or dab if you're wearing swimming shorts or entering a room full of girls in grey marl boxers?
with that sailor bubblebath and everything!
AND. SEVENTY. SEVEN. REPLIES.
as my DiS bookmark.
to wee wee?
of all those who wipe
and i'm checking it twice
and never talking to them again
but it's pretty much always first thing in the morning if I do.
I call it the 'lazy wee' and I really enjoy it.
i'm gonna have one in the morning.
you need to though
so i hear
Shaking does the job very well.
this is only necessary when you think
a girl may put your beast in her mouth,
otherwise, shaking will suffice.
I didn't realise just quite how much.
amazing. really. amazing.
I've learnt a lot.
Some people take this very, very seriously:
Oh well, here's the picture:
so the end of my cock is actually a nose. This means I can just sniffle the excess wee back inside for later.
Also it means I can smell inside ladies.
the 'incident in the nunnery'.
i say milk as that is the closest thing i can think of. i sort of drag the foreskin back and forth a few times and it normally does the trick. shaking is far more hit and miss...
in 300 replies i'd have expected another milker
none of friends do either.
you should all try.
i am going to sit in a dark room and forget i said anything.
against the heel of my shoe.
i milk sometimes tho
and i do 'milk' sometimes. but that often leads to getting an erection and it seems such a waste if i dont take advantage, seeing as i won't get many in old age.
this can put me in dangerous situations in public toilets however.
"He's right. I was in there yesterday and there was a piece of shit on the SEEEEAAAAATTT"
(wish Klaire did, not me)
to buy her one, like the ones they used to do on Blue Peter
could be the slogan
best post ever.
If you sit down to poo and dangle your dingle down the loo, isn't there a chance of getting poo on it?
of theirs yet.
Your lack of insertion of the adjective "respective" implies that there is a possibility of men having more than one willy each.
that they all wipe each others willies in a big disgraceful willy wiping orgy of willy wiping. Possibly?
the regret I feel for contributing to this thread...
Bamos' Krypton factor erection is the funniest thing I have ever read on this forum (excluding the Sitcom thread).
And it's frowned upon in the male kingdom/// but knowing the amount of shrinking violets who occupy this community board, I'd say most people will respond with 'yes''.
Only faye boys blot.
it makes me very sad when my boyfriend gets up in the night for a wee then get back into bed and cuddles up to me and I feel the wet tip :( :( :(
A man without a piss-drip tip is like a women without elbows.
ooooh my god!
this post has decided. you can take your pissy tips elsewhere.
and you go for a piss, you have to stand about fourteen furlongs away from the bog.
Did you know this, klaire?
is like firing a higher calibre of rifle than you're normally used to
aiming is difficult in the face of such new found power
a boy has pissed all over ur wall and just wiped it up too :P
very very true
or women in general?
and secondly how would that be possible?
you compared to how many guys to test this hypothesis?
and i really wanted to read it :(
oh, good memories :(
this is brilliant
but that is for fear of any possible wet penny in the pocket.