My ex got back in touch with me after a long time of us being apart. He had wanted to meet me after we split up 18mths ago - and every six weeks since we broke up pretty much asked me to meet up with him - I always declined as he dumped me rather unceremoniously and unexpectedly and I had been incredibly hurt.
I'll be honest, I've never really gotten over him.. he was the one who got under my skin... He was 'the one'. Ticked very box... in every way... and I know it was mutual.
After a traumatic summer, I decided to give it a chance and we spent a lot of time talking on msn and we even dj'd together a couple times - met up with friends around us in 'friendship' style scenarios - nothing happened... we were very honorable to each other. My friends who met us together who hadn't known us when we were going out commented on how much we were the 'perfect couple'... We were like soulmates.
Last weekend we dj'd together and the inevitable happened - we got back together and spent four blissful days together talking about the past and the future...
But I messed it up with self preservation and basically fear and kicking him out of my life. He had spoken to me about his fears and why he has broken up with me at that time... (he had his own issues and it was fear of - well - 'is this it?' kind of stuff).
I feel terrible. I have no idea what to do. The feelings were always there but I pushed them aside (can be very good at blocking things out, surprisingly). He too, I know, has a fear of getting close to anyone, really - and I got very close... really close - and I know I've messed it up.. we've spent four months talking every day and I ruined it by kicking him out of my life - I doubt he'll trust me again.
I have no idea what to do.. I'm feeling very very shit and have been since Monday.
Sorry - people think I'm mad but he was the one who got under my skin and has been there the whole time.
What should I do to get him to listen to me?? I was very hasty and I regret this immensely and now I know he will not listen to me...