Sex pests. Besides the lewd 55 year old at work who sits opposite me and continually makes S&M innuendos (thanks to one of my bosses, who dubbed me ‘top matron’ – gee, thanks for that) the more pressing issue is that I have a really good friend who was always a friend before he was a fuck buddy but who now just won’t give it up. We were ‘special friends’ on and off for a few years. Someone else comes into the picture who he senses is a proper and long term threat to the setup. Turns out he actually isn’t, but as we’re good buddies and we talk about our adventures, every time I mention this other guy, he bristles and goes a bit apeshit. And then wants to see me, like immediately – and when we’re just friends we usually meet up a couple of times a year. This has been going on and off for four years now. So, I’ve seen both of them in the last month, and the guy he hates twice. I’m now getting pestered to hook up with ex FB again even though I only saw him a few weeks ago. He’s a highly sexed guy and makes no bones about telling me to my face, or on messenger, that ‘it would be a crying shame if we never have sex again’. I figure it’s 1) jealousy 2) not having anyone else of particular interest around at the moment and 3) some kind of fucked up male pride thing where he figures he can win me back versus the other guy and 4) numbers; if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
I ramble, I apologise. My point is, I’m no longer attracted to him, haven’t been for a long long time, but he’s still an absolutely top mate, really good company and great to be around when he’s not making sexual innuendos. And I don’t know how to say ‘no’ without completely crushing his ego. If he were a fly by night one night stand I wouldn’t give a damn, but as he’s a good friend and generally an all-round good guy, I really don’t want to give his ego an unnecessary bashing. And I’m shit at these things. So, gentlemen, your advice please.