Why do they always seem to have the same things to say?
I went to my local greasy spoon this aft, for a fry-up at lunch, by myself (and a paper). I always sit on the top floor, and there's never anyone up there, so its nice and quiet. It was empty again this time.
But in the corner, there was this little bloke, about 50ish. He looked deranged, like some cliched serial killer from some cheap American horror film. I had my wallet on the table and he started saying: 'Take my advice. GET THAT WALLET OFF THAT TABLE. NOW.'
I did it, to please him, and thanked him for his concern. But he wouldn't leave it there. He kept telling me how dangerous it is, and how many times he's had to kick people to death for trying it on him. He started talking about how he kicked someone in the brain or something, but I stopped listening and started reading the paper. He kept pointing and clicking his fingers, staring at me like a teacher.
But, is it just me or do they all seem to share their fantasies?
- Being rich. He was like "I had ten grand in my wallet. Knicked. Smash. Gone in a second."
- Being in the army. "I learned all these skills from my time in the forces. The first rule is to NEVER leave your possessions on show. YOU HEAR ME?"
- Being a murderer. "I kicked a guy with these VERY boots, through his brain. Right through. So they don't mess any more."
I wonder if any of us DiSsaz will grow up to be like him.