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Can someone tell some jokes please?
How does it smell?
Of badger blood
I don't tell 'jokes' on stage. I do the whole make fun of the crowd/tell embelished stories thing
the Bulmers comedy festival (3rd biggest comedy festival in the world) is on here at the moment so I was asked to do a few shows around the place. It's really hard to keep coming up with new stuff but you should give it a go a some stage, you've come up with a few crackers on here and it's much easier to make people laugh in person than it is typing on a message board
I've a notepad on me all the time now so I can write down anything I think of. I work that into ideas, write them out so I can remember them and then try stuff out on a few friends to make sure it's not utter crap.
If you have 30 mins then write an hours wort of stuff cause once you're up there you talk faster and have to leave out things that aren't going to work with that crowd
and have few a few great comebacks for heckles, if someone does a funny heckle and you can't come back you're screwed
yeah, he'll never work again (except in very dank working men's clubs)
Keep 'em coming!
What do you call a man with a truck on his head?
The National Dyslexics Association
Because she didn't have any arms.
she was dead?
but thats a good answer
I got distraced by the other answer
there's always humour to be had in a defensless stump of a body. Always.
bits of Colin McRae
I can't condone this joke.
Surely the answer should be bits of Colin McRae and his young Son.
Horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, 'why the long face?'. The horse replies, 'I have AIDS'.