I've been given a sheet with the following in regards to phonecalls from terrorists:
Caller ID/Incoming Phone Number:
Questions to ask:
When is the bomb going to explode?
Where is it right now?
What does it look like?
What kind of bomb is it?
What will cause it to explode?
Did you place the bomb?
What is your address?
What is your name?
About the caller:
Male or female:
Estimated age of caller:
Caller's voice (circle all that apply):
Familiar (If familiar, who did it sound like?)
Background Noises (circle all that apply):
Threat Language (circle all that apply):
Read by Caller
Is this a standard kind of list? I'm lost between working out if it's for real, find it kinda hysterical, and being pretty much terrified. I'm not actually sure where to start....
The fact that I'm supposed to ask their address, estimate their age (from a phonecall?!).... wait... what's that, I think I hear some crockery in the background...... yes, crockery. Huh. I'm never answering the phone again.
Yes, I have a very helpful terrorist on the phone, who's telling me exactly where to find and how to dispose of a bomb, his name, address, in a slow, raspy, disguised voice that seems familiar... a little like George Clooney I'd say. And I think I heard some animal noises in the background, mixed in with a little bit of crockery and phone box.
There again, it is marginally more helpful than the booklet I got last week, giving me helpful tips, like the definitions of 'front door', 'back door', 'office' and 'phone'. No kidding.