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Anyone else have any humorous religious slogans they'd like to share?
seems to crop up a lot.
Humourous though.... :-s
what was it?
Every Sunday, God's place.
"Jesus Doesn't Think You're 'The Weakest Link'!"
"Jesus Is Your Lifeline!"
"If Jesus Were In Big Brother, He Wouldn't Nominate You For Eviction!"
endemol would wash their hands of him and no one would care when he went topless in zoo magzine.
tomorrow: finding Jesus.
I've probably got that wrong though.
until the old guy who did them died a few years ago :(
Lots of cricket-related one and one legally dodgy one with Playstation logo and "Praystation" written underneath :D
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
2. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight:"Searching for Jesus."
3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
4. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a
5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much
6. Don't let worry kill you off let the Church help.
7. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.
10. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will
sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
11. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
14. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
15. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
16. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.
17. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
18. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM prayer and medication to follow.
19. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
20. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
21. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
22. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
23. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
the back door.
24. The eighthgraders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
25. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
'Proceeds will be used to cripple children'
'god answers kneemail'
I laughed, then realised that makes no sense at all.
BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO POINTED IT OUT
"Being a christian doesn't pay well, but the pension plan is unbeatable!!!!"
(I always add a couple of !!1111!!ROFLs mentally when I see it.)
Which I imagine would make sense if you got a pension WHEN YOU ARE DEAD.
Forbidden fruit makes many jams.