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I have one on Saturday
What's funny/not funny?
What's good/not good?
I am shitting it
I was thinking of a kind of nod and a wink humour
*nude and a wank humour
at the moment
If in doubt... strip
kids from other women
I could go on.
that was the groom's job
"i believe the bride and groom are honeymooning in North Wales of all places. This must be the case because i overheard *insert name of Groom* saying he's going to Bangor (Bang Her) for the weekend"
Works a treat.....
I hear that John is taking Jo to the emirates as a treat, because she likes nothing more than being taken up the arse.
I am so so so so so so sorry
..... 'if i could just say a few words
i'ld be a better public speaker.....'
Right from the star you have got them BY THE BALLS.
I laughed at least.
'Being slightly nervous this isn’t the first time I’ve got off a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand!'
Did this one for a friend a few years back and it got me off to a good start.
already my opening lines!
YOU HAVE READ MY SPEECH
unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...
Don't forget to spread your legs apart really REALLY widely and thrust your crotch forward.
Well I say 'don't forget' but I know that's your natural stance anyway.
...I was given that advice that the best man's speech shouldn't be longer than it takes the groom to make love."
his parents are methodists. I'm frightened to even mention alcohol let alone SEX
by telling everyone you are atheist
HE's a Methodist, SHE's a Catholic
I have my work cut out
Oh Jesus - my speech sounds so gentle compared to all your suggestions
Ring of Fire. Topless.
is getting jokes from best man pre-prepared speeches on the internet, coz everyone will have heard them all before and start whispering about it while you're talking.
I think it's nice if you reflect on your viewpoint of their relationship when they got together, that can be either sweet or funny.
I haven't even looked at the internet
I didn't even know them when they got together!
Find embarassing pictures of him looking cute as a baby and blow them up huge. It's quite difficult if you have to keep it really clean. Stories demonstrating his key characteristics are best. Is he a bit thick? Tell everyone all about a time he did something really stupid, that kind of thing.
Best man's perks!
Why didn't I think of that?
so that joke would have fallen on it's face.
I'd have added something about it being "half cut" too, as they'd already done that bit.
put Brendan's hand on top of my hand and said "right, remember that because it's the last time you'll have the upper hand". This was a lot funnier at the time, nevermind :(
if Dave substitutes the phrase 'last time' to 'first and last time'.
or the suprise will be RUINED!
sorry, I'm off now.. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll just withold his AMAZING BAD ASS present until after the speech in case I have to make deductions.
the best man at my friend's wedding in June did this.