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Something you do reasonably regularly that makes you a bit of a bad person
On Monday I realised that, for the past couple of months, I have been putting perfectly good cutlery in the bin
Let me break it down for y'all
In my work canteen the sink is waaaaaaaaay over the other side to where I sit when I eat my lunch (it's a big canteen, as the place employs about 2,500 people). Rather than walking all the way down to the sink (70 yeards or so) to drop off my fork, I've realised that I'm slyly (sp?) slipping it into the bin along with my empty plastic pasta pot. I must've binned about twelve perfectly good forks in recent months, purely because I'm a lazy shit
Somebody enlighten me with similar tales of scandal
^ ban request
:O
that's terrible!
I know!
The worst part about it is is that I have literally no excuse. I'm just a really, really awful person
you absolute total and utter SHIT
im perfect
i download music
i dont recycle
have you only eaten
12 times in the past couple of months?!
crazy times.
See two posts down
I'm right underneath bamos
I'm sure you are
dirty boy.
On Sunday night, I skipped the train home
This is only the second time in my life that I've ever not paid for a train journey. I was a bit drunk, and very skint, and I decided to wing it.
Dear WhoeverRunsThatTrainWhatIGot: Sorry, I owe you £2.10.
^
I didn't pay the tram conductor in Nottingham last weekend.
Although the fare was only £1.40, so I'm only 66.6% as evil as Bamos.
that was YOU!?
there's a 13.5 page spread about you in the evening post!!
Is that just a big pull-out picture of his face?
I was hoping to appear in one of those
ASBO name and shame posters they put up at the front of the tram.
they dont charge students at weekends
anyway, i thought?
i don't think you need to worry
if that's only the second time I'm sure you've paid your dues already what with late trains, arsey staff etc.
I skanked the bus on tues as I'd lost my oyster. first time in a good while. I was scared and stood right by the door ready to jump off!
I used to bunk trains aaaaaall the time
When I was like, 15. My conscience is clear
Let me just make one thing clear
This only happens once a week. I'm pretty much a hero the rest of the time
*scoffs*
*then throws fork in bin?*
not that kind of scoffing!
momo
I spread malicious rumours about people
(Don't tell anyone that Sadpunk dresses up as a lady)
I do that too!
(shh, harru told me he spray-painted a comedy willy on a bridge over the M4)
you liar!
it was boobies! i can't draw willies.
What other kind of willy is there?
I'd like to say that I will stop
But I can't guarantee it. I'm fairly sure that it'll get to 1.59pm next Monday and I'll approach the bin, look up and assess the distance to the sink before casually glancing around as I drop the fork down into the trashy abyss
'used to'?
Snot wall bad!
Doesn't work.
You still do that now, don't you?
You can tell us. This thread is free from judgement
Ha
I was talking to someone about this the other day, doing this was fine until we moved house and my parents moved my bed away from the wall to discover two years worth of snot. They made me chisel it off with a scraper thing :(
I don't know what this means
Does this make me a bad person?
yes
it means he doesn't turn
his car into a swimming pool at weekends.
And peterborough will never forgive him
What a complete cunt!
It's the only way to enjoy a fiesta!!!!
HAHA! Nope.
Keep at it
You'll get one soon!
I'm 0 from 2 at the moment. It's not a great run.
The shouting thread
took it out of you!
Working in a restaurant
is so wasteful - food, napkins, we don't recycle even though I bug them about it. AND I put forks in the bin sometimes and leave them but by accident!
Stealing the Style Magazine from my local on Sundays!
:O
Mine was laziness, yours is pure thievery!
I do horrible things on a fairly regular basis
I'm pretty sure everyone does. At least, that's what I tell myself while I'm doing them
'used to'?
i walked past a dying cat at lunch time
but i didn't know what to do with it anyway. and my phone conversation was much more interesting.
:O
:(
pooing in post boxes
I
audibly wish death on foreign beauty school students who bundle onto my bus home every evening. So they can hear me, but have no idea what I'm saying. Ha!
It's not their foreigness
that pisses me off, it's the way they bash me in the face with their hulking great rucksacks full of nail files, the way they obstruct my way off the bus, the way they refuse to give up their seats for elderly people. The English ones piss me off too, but they can understand my curses.
good one!
foreign people can never understand english!
I can think of one really horrible thing i've done this year, but I'm not sharing it. It's too embarassing and would besmirch my good name.
and the papers still speculating
tss
Punching animals in the face.
It makes me feel ALIVE.
I pretend to do work
when I'm actually on Drowned in Sound and other forums all day.
Other forums?
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
skanking public transport
i can count the number of times i've paid on a bendy bus on one hand.
i've got a bendy bus about 1,000 times.
i have also skanked the train to brighton. a number of times. only got caught once.
i can always use the 'oh i'm on holiday here, i'm irish I DON'T UNDERSTAND'
lol at the train plebs.
I say the word cunt far too much
I intentionally stand
in front of people who want to get on the tube when I am getting off, just so I can shove them out of the way and sigh loudly. I stick things to people's backs when they're not looking. I pretend to be asleep when people come on the train with the intention of sitting opposite me and taking my (already minimal) leg room. I step out of a pigeon's way but into a person's way.
Out of the flying pan and into the pile!
STILL doesn't work.
Your pun-o-meter might be bust
I'll do a quick test. Make a pun from the following sentence:
'The interior decorator I hired the other day to do my lounge showed up drunk.'
Pissed as a painter!
Hang on.
From Dulux to hiccups!
Nope.
Mind the chandelier: you've had far too much beer!
Hmmm.
Flustered bastard hires plastered plasterer?
(I'm still giggling to myself at the third one, so I don't care anymore)
HAHAAHA! Mind the chandelier: you've had far too much beer!
:D :D :D :D :D
Yep
Definitely broken.
sad day
it certainly needs calibrating.
"I stick things to people's backs when they're not looking."
i actually turned around and checked nothing was on my back, even though i haven't seen you in like, A MONTH.
:( oh lol.
Instead of buying the books for my course last year
I used the money for booze and sat in the bookshop taking my references. I got top marks for my bibliography!
Sending tourists the wrong way
when they ask for directions in London.
I only do that when I'm in a bad mood though.
I cycle past red lights
and feel a little bit guilty
I HATE YOUR KIND
i hate other cyclists
i hate pedestrians
i hate car drivers
they're mainly pricks
or are slow and slow me down
There
are some kids around my way that have started knocking the door and ringing the bell, and then running away. It can be a bit annoying when trying to get a 3 month old to sleep.
So I've taken to knocking over every kid that I see within half a mile of my house, either clipping them with the car or stopping to get out and push them over. If they happen to have any sweets on them or anything, then I just take them. I'm not proud of it, but they do keep ringing the doorbell
Hanging's too good for 'em
That's
what I daubed in red paint on the house next door
Ok.
Tell me when to stop!
It's
alright, I'm done now
Did you make it all the way through
without the doorbell ringing?
Glaring at those cleaner people
who put the metro in a litter bag before you can reach it.
Losing my temper at spelling and grammar errors
particularly in work.
I went into work yesterday:
Dave: 'Hi Andy.'
Me: (glancing at TV screen): 'Oh, hi Dave, how are... what the FUCK is that spelling mistake on the ticker? Fuck me, there's another one! I don't know WHY I bother working here! I'm off to the gallery to shout at the text producer." *dashes downstairs on mission*
Dave "...."
oh god yes
^
x 4 years
i throw away 2 and 1p's
and dont recycle anything
You mental
I keep my small change and then take it to the bank to annoy the cashiers. I had £35 last time.
so did my bin
You throw away money?
I love you like a son, but I find that quite outrageous
Just stick it in a pot/empty Dolmio jar
I found an old handbag
full of coppers and old tobacco and rubbish, and I didn't want to put my fingers in to pull coppers out just to sit around forever. So I emptied it all into the bin. I felt guilty about it for at least 4 seconds. And then maybe another second when I was reminded of it then.
It's been a while
but I used to unscrew the lids of salt and pepper pots in restaurants
Plotting revenge
upon my letting agency...
Someone pranked me about 6 months ago,
from the rival gang.
They forgot to with-hold.
And so, whenever I find myself up at stupid times, on stupid days, I ring them up and try waking them. I've done it a lot this week since I've been off, and its very enjoyable hearing: "oooooh.... Hello?"
HAHAH.