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Excuse me? COULD YOU ALL MOVE DOWN PLEASE?
punched that young child in the maw
NOW GET OFF FATTIES!
COULD YOU ALL MOVE DOWN NOW PLEASE!
The best thing I've seen is the 'prison guard' aggro platform manager at Highbury and Islington on the NOrth London Line - I've seen him start more fights with squashed passengers trying to get on that charnal house train than anyone else in the world. Hilarious if it were not for the fact that I was on the train being crushed.
people who are inconsiderate, or cunts who think they have the right to kick up a fuss about inconsiderate people.
consider, if you will, me on the megabus.
i queued up for ages to get a good seat, and sit next to a window, one of my life's small pleasures.
then a family came along, loudly proclaimed "SOMEONE WILL MOVE SEATS SO THAT YOU CAN SIT NEXT TO EACHOTHER" to their kids.
no one responded, so they asked me if i'd move, and i was like "no, thanks. i really like sitting next to the window"
and she was like "YOU REALLY LIKE SITTING NEXT TO THE WINDOW?" and thankfully moved on.
please bear in mind that if no one had moved, the kids would have still been able to sit next to eachother, just with the aisle between them, so their desire to sit next to eachother was at least as pathetic as my desire to sit next to the window, and i queued goddamnit
the little brutes just stir up more trouble, you did well Alcxxk.
a guy caved in and sat next to me to let them next to eachother
played his gameboy at full volume whilst listening to his ipod
is always the most depressing part of the day. Thank heaven's my commute is agreeable right now.
I get the bus in all the way now, and I get on early enough to get a seat. It's lovely. I hate the underground, it's quick but it's soooo smelly.
they're always full of chavmums and their broods talking loudly, and blocking the entrance with their multiple pushchairs and primark bags.
That's a long route... Get a scooter and take your life in your own hands?!
I'm okay, I've perfected the art of infusing my eyes with a spirit of such crushing malevolence that people generally turn around and step off the train in response.
I had to cultivate this technique LT staff failed to see my reason for punching an old lady in the sternum for trying to squeeze into a space that clearly wasn't there.
Maybe pay Stealthy to take you into work in the morning? I think he'd be worth it.
unfortunately my hand is still about to fall off. im pretty scared
Sounds like something I'd say...
can I have a lift?
(runs to airport with one way ticket)
a shit about sitting down but I don't like having my face shoved in someone's armpit (i'm not that tall, you see) is it really that bad if I occasionally ask for people to move down the carriage when there is space?
but you need to say something different.
Maybe 'Shove up fatties!' would be more charming.
involved a 17 stone man-shaped bag of sweat and cholesterol crushing me against the door for two stops, before we got to Waterloo and the train emptied out a bit.
At night I close my eyes and see the check pattern on his shirt on the inside of my eyelids.