Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
has no mum?
my friend at uni who i didn't really know well at the time (it was like the first few weeks) had told me that her mum had died but i'd sort of forgotten, and basically yeah i'd had to help her with something practical (something to do with cooking) and i said something like "geez its like i'm your mother or something?"
she laughed a bit and i think (well, hope) she forgot about it. i sort of died inside as i went "NO NO NO NO!"
still sort of can't believe i said that.
mind you shes probably my best friend on the course so i mean didn't do too much harm.
time: manchester utd vs manchester city
"Hi Seeobhan! Nice to meat you!"
to my ( then future ) wife.
Worst idea I've ever had :!
How long did you wait bfore saying it?
That feels like a topic all of its own.
Im far too scared :$
"Oh come on, lukemia is no excuse for bad headwear"
she wasnt impressed.
My brother had a similar experience when had cancer and was wearing a hat,
Drunk Guy: Whats with the hat, you got cancer or something.
My Brother: Yeah.
I'm sure your time will come.
it causes funny replies on threads...
report them. then who wins?
Just joking anyway !
people a thousand years from now could Google it and say, "that oR, what a twat!"
i went out for dinner with my family, and mid conversation (when i hadn't been paying attention), thought my step dad had said 'he looked like he was creaming himself', so i pulled a horrified face, and burried my head in my hands saying how much of a disgusting phrase it was. Everyone was very confused and it turned out he had said 'preening' not creaming.
To make matters worse, my mum then told me when i was about 5, i said on holiday and putting sun lotion on, 'wait a minute dad, i'm creaming myself'.
the chicks'll cream
for greased lightnin'.
In my Grease piano book, the lyrics say 'scream'.
"I could have shagged her if I wanted, but I'm not like that. She's a COMPLETE whore"
She was COMPLETELY standing behind me throughout the whole exchange.
We're still friends though. Aww :)
Scene: Packed-out rush hour fast train from Watford Junction to London Euston. Pretty quiet, not too many people talking. Me and three friends, including my friend Ferg are on our way to see Mastodon.
Me: Ferg, just accept you're going to wind up living your entire life in an accounting job.
Ferg: Fuck off, I'm not fucking Jewish!
the looks from us were like he'd just knifed a child in front of us. the looks from the rest of the carriage from the rest of the journey were worse.
to female newspaper music editor at university, wearing a lesbian society tshirt- "are you just wearing that to show support, or are you actually bent?"
She thought it was funny. Her lesbian pals didn't.
so they may have thought I said 'for support', referencing her breasts. That's what she said to me later when I asked why her friends looked at me like I'd just shot a puppy.
if she wanted to give the other team a go.. and winked. ;)
but I can't remember what they were - pretty awful?
(the answer is yes)
but Lauren Laverne is still a pox on the earth.
fucking fat people here
It's not so much the casual racism (although that too), it's just that he is such a tedious cunt.
and "i just want to put my tongue in your hole"
of further permutations.
in a room full of people.
and i am deeply ashamed.
to a really scary aunt who could beat ten tons of shit out of most men.
'don't blame him, i don't either'
it was a lucky escape.
in bratislava, my girlfriends friend brough her bloke out and he was teaching me how to swear in slovakian. He told me one word and i didnt hear him and he said it a bit loud and I shouted it to see if my pronounciation was correct. The whole bar just went silent and looked at me. I think it was the slovakian equivalent of the word 'c*nt'
against my friend's radio programme, which he worked really hard on, slating it's awful, cliched music selection policy, after he'd played Brainlove bands and been massively supportive to me. I felt quite a heel.
I once got into a row with a good friend of mine which frustrated me so much I told him to fuck out of my house, which led to him breaking down in tears. I felt a right heel x 100.
Some pretty rough relationshippy stuff.
I have a horrid tendency, luckily pretty infrequent, when I'm drunk, to tell someone exactly what I think of them if they exhibit enough of a combination of irritating attributes to spark me off. It's often scathingly accurate and cuts right to the bone. And I always wake up, head-in-hands, going "NoooooooOOOOOOOOO!"
I sometimes turn it on myself too, which is just a terrible, terrible idea. Better to reconcile yourself with being flawed by virtue of being human at all, than tread over your mistakes and bad points until your confidence and self-worth is non-existent.
we were talking about radioactivity. The teacher was like "oh nuclear power stations dont actually radiate that much" and then i said "oh yeah, we used to live right next to a nuclear power station and my mum got cancer."
My mum did get cancer, but luckily didnt die from it. It didnt figure in my head that they didnt know she was ok, so it sounded like i was trying to use my dead mum as an argument, when really i just said it cos it was related and didnt seem like a big deal to me.
My teacher was just like "... oh". I felt like a complete nob.
went up to some guy and pinched his bandanna he was wearing round his neck. He said 'oi, that's my dad's' or something similar, and I said 'does your dad do this' - before doing a hilarious impression of some hardcore kid windmilling.
His dad is dead. Oops.
me: "is that a girl or a guy"
my friend: "it is a girl!!"
me: "but she has no 'slang for breasts'!!"
Kerrang interview a week or so later...
singer of band: "...some people dont even know if i am a man or woman i overheard these two guys talking they said (see above) .. thanks guys!"
i think i was 18
I just remembered standing at the front of a Pattern gig, drunk almost into unconsciousness after the Datsuns totally ruled on their first UK tour, shouting "TRY HARDER!" between every song.
I have basically slagged off two close friends to their potential girlfriends and even lied about them because i was basically jealous of their relationships. I'm pretty ashamed of that.
I also once called a woman 'fat' in front of the gossip. I felt really akward for a bit but it gets worse every time i read them badmouthing 'white ignorant hetrosexual men' in the press.
I accidentally used the phrase 'Blitz spirit' whilst talking to a German girl. She didn't notice, fortunately.