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fuck off back there you mudcovered apes.
I really really do.
you had standing in a muddy field listening to some dude play the bongos you fucking hippies
naked, who is really a bloke?
naked in a bed with pete doherty, while being injected by kate moss.
all three parties covered in mud.
MAKE IT SO VIKRAM!
she sounds horrible
but apes aren't stupid enough to get themselves covered in mud!
does that not make her a bit horrible? or just an honest mistake?
They really should build a bypass over that place.
Only thing Nicky Wire ever taught me.
You wouldn't merely have seen the Kaiser Chiefs, you would have seen them amidst the sticky, BO-drenched nightmare of 130,000 hippy pillheads, Guardian-felching yuppies and the mentally ill, because being mentally ill is probably what it me to shell out close to £400 in aggregate to go through all that.
I had a great time. Modest Mouse, Beirut, !!!, Arcade Fire, New Pornos, Bjork, Bright Eyes, "Cats, Cats... and More Cats", Guillemots, were all fab(ish). Even the dancey bands that I was forced to go to such as Fat Freddy's Drop, The Beat and Chemical Brothers were extremely Fun With Drink. I had free food at the Hare Krishna tent every day. Made a wonderful new friend. Spent £20 in total and £10 of that was on a new camping stove because I broke mine on the way into the festival. I made love more times than I had poos. And I made a wizard out of clay. So FUCK OFF, the both of you.
buy the Guardian while I was there but that was for the free bag and poncho so FUCK OFF.
you shagged in a field - or worse, in a tent
*as hippies watched.
I actually saw this in the car park. Dreads, khakis, brand new Audi. How many people who are hilariously ripe for satire did you see this weekend? Hm?