made me laugh
More or less every week on that show, Alan Sugar asked one contestant or other "hang on, if you're so bloody brilliant and your track record is so bloody good, why have you thrown it all in to work for me on a one year contract for £100 grand?". He never once got a satisfactory answer and never seemed to notice that this totally undermined the premise of the whole show, rather as if Trinny and Susannah had ever said "Of course, there is basically not all that much we can do about your face".
I think everyone on the show took the wrong approach. Sugar says at the very start of every program that he doesn't like arselickers, and yet every single one of them licked his arse. I think I would do well in the boardroom by simply holding my ground and coming armed with a few home truths ...
SAS: Well you made a right old cobblers of that one, didn't you, Digest?
D2D: I don't think it was all that bad.
SAS: Look at this bloody product you chose! Never seen such a load of old toot in me loife
D2D: Perhaps so, but at least it's not a telephone with a cheap LCD screen attached that charges you 20p to send an email.
D2D: You heard. Wasn't it like three or four times you tried to launch that joke? What a dog.
SAS: We're still selling it actually
D2D: This is clearly some strange use of the word "selling" I hadn't heard before.
SAS: Shut up. Your management of that team was hopeless! They couldn't stand you!
D2D: Do you mean ordinary hopeless, or "Spurs in the 90s" hopeless?
SAS: You delegated everything to Tre and he naused it up!
D2D: Well I'm sorry, Terry Venables wasn't available.
SAS: Listen, mate, in business
D2D: Property investment.
SAS: I said in business
D2D: Property investment. That is, in fact, how you've made your money for the last ten years. Nothing wrong with that but it is like a fact.
Duncan Bannatyne: Wull ah saeh ...
D2D: I'll deal with you later.
SAS: Now what I'm looking for in an Apprentice
D2D: Is apparently a London Transport clerk or a saucy blonde with a hard luck story. And they were both complete washouts. Fair do's to Tim, nobody was ever going to be able to sell that ludicrous electronic facelift thing but Michelle Dewbery was an unforced error on your part; somehow it escaped your notice that she had got pregnant by one of the other contestants.
SAS: I hired Simon this year
D2D: Well exactly. As a selection process, this is one that only the Camridge office of MI5 in the 50s could like.
(and there the reverie ends; anyone who was hoping for a woefully forced lead in to the punch line "you're fired" is invited to consider that Week Ending was deservedly cancelled fifteen years ago)
I can't do the accent, sorry.
No, sorry, I really can't do the accent.
Now that one is spot on