BT are SHIT.
They supplied me with discs and instruction manuals to connect to wifi that were, errr, only PC compatible.
What dicks at their head office thought that would be a good idea? Idiots.
Anyhow, happy endings - got onto a call centre in India and spent the last 42 minutes with the nicest people in terms of customer service that I've come across in years. 42 minutes with Ajun and I'm CONNECTED.
A small victory for technically challenged me.
End of rant. A happy rant.
(thanks for those tho tried to help me last night - I kinda literally passed out through it all...)