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I don't really like my extended family and I have a nice suit.
Advice please? What should I do?
but do not get drunk
drink all the alcohol.
i just hid for most of it, quietly drinking champagne and mumbling 'yeah, i'm actually her sister' to all the people who didn't know why i was there :'(
i'm not sure if there'll be anyone i find attractive. what should i look for?
and I am so getting drunk
My dad will be there though...
Although he can really outdrink me.
I like drinking with my uncles as well, don't you have any nice uncles?
they're ok. all my dad's side of the family think i'm a bit weird, or in their words, "you take after your mother don't you?" so i feel a bit awkward around them.
but I really really want to have fun!
Obviously not the ones that are desesperate to be the next married one...
i'd quite like to be able to find someone i have loads in common with so i can sit in a corner with them and talk about books and music all night, but i'm not sure how to recognise people with similar interests when they're wearing wedding clothes. and there might not be anyone like that there...
"I like books" until someone talks to you.
and dance to Liberty X like you know you want to.
at Brainlove's birthday i danced to Mason Vs Princess Superstar. It's one of my favourite songs ever. Seriously.
Do you dance to shit songs at weddings?
That's rule n°1 !
But only after drinking copious amounts of alcohol. It's what you do at weddings.
Also, find a small child relation to dance with, you can pick them up and spin them around and you feel like a giant (Y)
i don't think i dare get drunk around my relations though :(
That's what I do.
it was a few years ago, and she was fine about it.
I then passed out in a conservatory and woke up covered in cigar ash. Great stuff.
not really the wedding spirit !
Drink, eat, drink, dance, drink , eat, drink, dance, drink. Then try to grab the girls that aren't going as far away of you as they can...
i doubt any will fancy me anyway...
i'm not very hot!
that might help !
maybe. i doubt there will be anyone vaguely my age. have you ever pulled anyone at a wedding Lyle?
my friend was once bragging about sexing the ex-girlfriend of The Russian Futurists in a hot tub at a wedding in Canada. I don't think that will happen to me...
I've always tried ( and most of the time managed ) to avoid weddings.
The only two where I've been, I was already with my wife so...
i hope i can't find someone to talk to. i'm worried!
your dad? wouldn't you rather him see you sober?
i could have sworn that was you. meh
stick with them.
Hide in a toilet cubicle and read
Play tig with the kids
i don't think so!
because you clearly have no hope.
Pick the most attractive non-related female there, and chat her up. You might get a slap, but it'll liven things up a bit.
If she spurns you there's a whole albums worth of material you can get from that encounter and your feelings before/afterwards.
It could be a concept album.
Tracy was hot and the slaps !
lyle = ace
At least someone noticed...
right so here is the plan:
1. look nice
2. get drunk without embarrassing myself in front of my dad
3. find prettiest girl of around my age, if there is one
4. tell them i'm in a band/sometimes DJ
5. dance to liberty x
sorted! i just hope i can find someone my age...
I can't stress this enough.
this wedding will suck :(
A friend and I tried to liven up the last wedding party thing we were at by singing Beach Boys songs. Everyone thought we were drunk. I at least was totally sober :-( Never again...
Basically, getting to hear some Mendelssohn foshed out on a (preferably very loud) church organ is the only redeeming feature.
we always get booted with the generation below, on the kiddas table.
Although, the presence of table toys like bubbles and fart machines is sometimes better than making adult talk - which i am rubbish at. Which i blame on always being on the kiddas table.
and jump out singing just as they're about to cut it
Dressed in only a top hat. You might want to rethink your seduction strategy though.