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Bad Idea
Cold calling (or similar method of communication) to apologise to someone with who you ended things very badly and haven't spoken to in 9 Months.
Basically I've realised what an absolute prick I was and feel very bad....
Cold calling (or similar method of communication) to apologise to someone with who you ended things very badly and haven't spoken to in 9 Months.
Basically I've realised what an absolute prick I was and feel very bad....
There should have been a ?
in the title
my first band were called Bad Idea, true story.
Were you named after the 'A' song?
Please say you were named after the 'A' song.
my band used to have a song called
'the A song'
it was in A.
ha no unfortunatey not
what dou hope to achieve?
Some kind of reconciliation.
I don't know really.
This has been gnawing at my consicence for some weeks.
I say do it
if it ended badly you won't make things any worse. You may make things better and at the very least make the other person feel a bit better.
I was considering doing something similar.
I don't think I'll bother.
It's a bit lame though.
especially if they don't really care anymore.
yeah I spose.
I can't really be bothered.
have you any idea how she has coped with things since?
are you intending to be friends, make sure it's not awkward if you bump into each other somewhere, or just clear your conscience?
THAT obvious it's a girl?
Ok. Basically the story is.
She was my friends girlfriend. I met her when he took her to Reading. I stole her and fucked her in his tent.
I went out with her for 6 months and didn't really treat her especially well, and things ended very very badly. Well as badly as me basically telling her I wished she was dead.
We've spoken once since. Didn't go well.
I really was a prick. I blame the coke.
yeah really don't phone after that..
I think you owe her some sort of appology though.
wheni tried writing to an ex 3 or 4 months after breaking up having not seen her and she responded with some kind of third person narrative about how she had been let down and how i should have been checking up on her, and tht i should just leave her alone.
Having said that it different people respond in different ways, some people would be really grateful for the apology, so you should probably do it.
Yeah.
I was thinking of a letter.
which brings up other problems. Such as not having her address.
email?
Possibly.
Assuming she hasn't changed it
well it's worth a try really
unless you know anyone else who would know more
Yeah.
Her ex.
bf
mmm...that's nice
So now after behaving like a total and utter cunt, you want to stop the guilt by apologising?
You EARNED that guilt dude...
I wish I had no guilt.
I look back fondly on those days of absolute ammorality.
I deserve the abuse though. Completely and utterly.
do it!
they might be surprised, but I'm sure they'll appreciate it.
And if they don't accept you apology, their loss.
I'd say something like
"I was an absolute prick and I feel very bad ...and I was thinking maybe we could fuck again sometime."
Er, maybe just what you wrote would suffice.
did you notice, John
I KNEW it was a girl. I KNEW you fucked her. And that your piss poor behavior was drug induced? (this last part is always "assumed")
I am more amazing than David Blaine!!
Except for the card-through-the-window trick. I can't do that one, yet.
You know me too well.
I don't always treat people so bad tho.
I know that
I was half kidding. Making amends is an old AA trick. (It might have been around before that but I wouldn't know about that. Not the christian way, though. Saying sorry to a priest doesn't do shit. Word.)
You do your best to right-a-wrong and let the cards fall where they may. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
Yeah. That is the plan.
I might write a song about it.
Girls like songs about them.
some people just bring out the worst in each other
it couldn't have been ENTIRELY your fault
comfort yourself with that
It doesnt really matter though
If you feel you were bad on reflection without anyone forcing you to conclude that then you were probably a bit bad and hadnt previously said it, but Anschul is also right......maybe her being a bit wrong has already been discussed, I dont think you should broach this idea in your 'cold calling message'.
Its good that you realise these things and go over them when you are under no outside pressure to do so. It shows you have a conscience, which goes to prove you arnt bad really.
letter is best
specially if you are grovelling.
then she can keep it and go hah I was right ....the little worm or throw it out or burn it....whatever, but it means tha it doesnt put any obligation on her to react in any particular way.
She may feel that if you phoned or turned up then she might be agreived in that she would then have to 'deal with you' again. Yeah a letter might stir things up.........but so would turning up or phoning.
I guess that myspacing her a message might be good because then she can respond if she wants to, but doesnt have to if she doesnt. (OK it could be accused of being cowardly, but it is the least intrusive for her)
make sure you make it clear that you are not
asking her to forgive you or become freinds necessarily, you are just apologising because you were a bit bad, and you want her to know that you realise that now.
but dont say that you dont necessarily want to be freinds again in an
insulting further bad way, i meant in the way that makes it clear that that is not the motive for sending an apology message.
that the motive is that there is a truth
tha needs to be said, and that you know its a 'bit late', and that you didnt say it before because you hadnt really realised at the time, but that reflection has made you realise your 'horribleness'
It's more the fact.
That I feel an urge to resolve certain things before I go to Perth.
I sometimes feel a little like My Name Is Earl. I do oscilate between good and bad too much.
Bah.
This reminds me of My Name is Earl
whats next on your list?
I would say : don't bother.
Because you're not doing it for her but for you.
It might make her suffer again.
So apart if you know she hasn't deal yet with the way you treated her, dont do it ! If she has already realised you were a prick and managed to move on, she don't need you to made her remember she fell for a prick !
and you want sex?
Yes.
But not with her.
Why ?
She was bad at it ? Ugly ? Both ?
I'm not gonna discuss
that.
Especially not on the same site that my girlfriend goes on.
She can't read PMs !
...
just joking !
( I have to say it because most people don't seem to see it when I'm joking... )
Man, this thread reminds me
of how once, I took so many cocaines that all the girls were like "Hey, can we gourmandise your titanic penis?!" and I was like "NO" and I carried them under my arms (my arms are rock hard) and dropped them in a skip and BRUTALLY FUCKED their ears with an old syringe. All of this, in front of the Pope. Then I wrote an apology letter, wiped my arse on it and nailed it to Rupert Murdoch's head because I didn't really want anyone to find out. Bit embarrassing really.