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for a moment.
Girls who wear navy skirts with black shoes. Stop it.
Men with large bottoms in pinstripe trousers. NO!
can piss right off.
I do this all the time.
People in "distressed" denim - YOU'RE DISTRESSING.
Pretty girls in stupid massively big shades - YOU DO NOT LOOK COOL OR MYSTERIOUS YOU LOOK LIKE A VICKY BECKHAM NEU-CHAV.
come off shop rails, they should be prepared for death at the revolution.
Old people who push in front of you in queues
people who are middle class and let their kids do anything in public, grow a spine, discipline please!
I'll have to get down to urban outfitters and buy a pink shirt for the occasion. Maybe with a patch saying "jim's truck stop".
bring a bottle and a mac 10.
a huge meal with a diet coke. Either one or t'other, okay?
people come into my shop all the time, but a massive bar of dairy milk and a diet coke. Like, who are you trying to kid?
Proper coke tastes like shit. Diet coke tastes alright.
You disagree with me on any subject from optimum length of heel on a shoe to amount of minutes you should spend in a caravan per decade? You're a complete cunt.
and shove them right up the chimney. Works a treat.
you care more for your monkeys than children.....shame
made me go up a chimney :(
who wear jeans with things written across the arse: IT LOOKS DISGUSTING. STOP IT!!!
'BECAUSE IT'S THE MAKE OF THE TROUSERS!!!!!!!!!'
oh, school days
They can both do one.
that I have abit of a crush on, wearing leggings under a dress the other day. I didn't her as attractive as I usually do. I blame the leggings.
You are condemning your offspring to a life of poverty. Please try harder when naming your children.
is called Wade. You're fucking dead
callum's a good scottish name, out with you!
you suck chuff
Stupid fat people who have lots of children they are clearly incapable of raising properly - dont
I'm with you on that.
-Girls who wear Ugg boots with jogging bottoms tucked into them to the pub.
-People who start sentences with "I'm not being awful, but..."
-Girls who wear those white slipper shoe things with black socks.
the last one sounds like old people's home chic.
The girls where I work wear this combination as 'business attire' it make me cringe.
i had 3 glasses of sainsburys orange & mango squash. who's impressed? WHO IS IMPRESSED?
the RDA people?
i <3 orange and mango squash :D
religion or nationality when they're not and just have connections to it.
Probably the thing that annoys me most out of like basically everything.
I remember people who would if you didn't describe them as British would go mad and stab you supporting Tunisia against England in France 98 without a cubic mm of Tunisian blood between them.
[and I'm nto a Milan fan really anyway]
It's not even like supporting a different national side.
It's like [real life example here] being british, but with an italian father [who has lived in england all his life and doesnt really speak italian] and every time there's a match or anything saying "Did you see US beating YOU..." etc. Or "WE really thrashed them.....".
I generally do at the world cup and stuff. But there's no "we" or "us". You are not Italian OK? You're British. Get over it. When you go to Italy, you are not, as you always say, going "back home". Argh.
It would be like me deciding I'm Peruvian because I like the culture....
And her dad is basically completely english - only speaks english, and doesn't have any elements of Italian culture. I've met him many, many times.
She does it to be 'different' though. She does a lot of things to be difficult.
Have you got a problem with me calling myself Ukrainian...?
I guess not. Well, I have a problem in that you're not Ukranian, so calling yourself that would be a lie.
But that wasn't what I was talking about anyway....
Um, you're more informed about my nationality than me? Um, okay. Sure.
British aren't you? Sorry if I got that wrong.
Other than that, not at all...
When you can't even speak the language....
& one of my biggest regrets in life is not learning Ukrainian, but that's my parents fault. It will be something I'll set right in the next few years though...
I feel a much bigger connection to Ukrainian culture a thousand times more than British... & I felt at home more in Kiev than Leeds/anywhere in the UK (although I suppose this applies to everywhere I've been...)
How what someone else calls themselves can bother you is completely beyond me.
People not supporting their national team but supporting another national team as if somehow these other nations are have got the political moral highground over their own.
Loud 1st year politics students - Shut up and fuck off.
Because I think their players are much nicer than ours, and their general attitudes are better. And they're generally better looking. Is that allowed?
Yes thats fine.
My point related to an irritating ex-friend (who's English) who would go on and on about how much he hated the England team at any given sporting event, based upon perceived political wrong-doings as well as just England as a nation in general - y'know, being a big state, being involved in war, big business etc. - basically, naive and dumbed down point of view.
But he would then madly support any team playing against England just because he wanted England to lose, as if this proved a point, and when questioned as to why he supporting a country that had a roughly similar socio-economic status in the world as England he would just totally avoid the question and get angry. The dick. It used to really annoy me.
Plus he was a huge Arsenal fan but would constantly go on about how money and corporations were ruining football, whilst at the same time delighting in multi-million pound new signings and a glittering new stadium.
he's a hypocrite, so you hate hypocrites, fair enough.
Yep, its true I hate hypocrites. And Greggs the baker.
just like you! I don't agree with it, I prefer to support England because I was born and raised here and I don't resent it like some people. The logic is that the England team and fans are very arrogant and pleased with themselves and so some people would rather support other teams. Without foreign players the English game wouldn't be anything but very boring. From the last world cup I'd say England played very boring, disorganised football.
Not everyone who lives in England is English even if they seem more a londoner etc than you, deal.
Ones a frog and ones a hen! And they make frog and hen noises!
"Silly hat", I think. I suppose silly and stupid can be different things.
I love comedy hats.
There is nothing wrong with that. It's the pinnacle of the textile industry in this country. It's been downhill since they stopped making them hats.
it disgusts me.
They should do itat home alone in the dark naked whilst sobbing.
it disgusts me..
people shoudn't eat plate food i.e pies while walking down the street. It's like they've been dragged up.
I can't drink/eat and walk...is this normal?
also when i drink the hand not holding the drink receptacle tilts up like I am expecting an offering..does anyone else do this?
should exit the conversation immediately. if you want entertainment you have rambo, not rimbaud.
on the bus/tube
and loudly played tinny teen music from phones both are v bad on public transport.
we ought to be friends, yes.
Harry Potter is fun.
but i read alot of other stuff besides.
some people have read 100 shite books and never read harry potter, they need guidance. I need none.
people who read 'chick lit' to this
People poorer than me - you lazy shites, get a job and stop complaining.
People richer than me - You pathetic materialistic bastards. You're so out of touch with reality you thought the eastenders themetune was "something poor people play at weddings"
People equally wealthy as me - I hope you choke on youre hummus, bastards.
sit in the quiet zone on virgin trains and then talk v v loudly with friends or on the phone in said zone and those that bring their brats into the quiet zone.
Grrr, shut up!
men in 3/4 length trousers
people who shout 'YOU 'EARD!' at their children
girls/women with unpainted toenails
to paint my toe nails :(
Can you even reach yours?
luckily mr S is a willing painter (don't tell him i told you though) :)
pedicure soon. I had one for the first time last year and it was so lush.
nice little money spinner.
claim to be 'crazy', 'mad' or 'wacky' in "about me" sections of profiles.
and big oversized glasses and leggings and Ugg boots?
go fuck your dads.
URGH, totally no need.
how the fuck do you walk in them without sounding like a scrap yard?
they look like it... very weird.
Im snobbed against
One of my sons is named callum (apparently thats bad)
and zxcvbnm would force me up a chimney
and Im a bit fat
and navy skirts and black shoes
I am obviously reviled
you have only brought it upon yourself, creaky.
I have more hatred...
-When you ask someone to do something and they say "give me two minutes" no they are my two minutes and if I gave them to everyone who asked I'd have no minutes of my own (granted this is mostly directed at kids)
-Male friends in their late 20's who go all on heat for 17 year old myspace girls...wrong.
-Men who wear white socks with black shoes with their suit.
with an owl
in the fog
i can't drink from cans with my top off?
stop decorating your 5 year old daughters with gold chains and sovereigns like you've just been BA Baracus's car boot sale with the dosh yer fella gave you from the win he had on the nags when he was out the other day spending the family giro getting wankered with his mates, leering at schoolgirls and pissing up against the kebab shop window
People who jump onto the tube ahead of people who have stood to the side to let people off - NOT EVEN HELL WILL HAVE YOU NOW!
People who go on the walk down side of the escaltor so they can push in on the standing side - ONE DAY I WILL PUSH ONE OF YOU DOWN THE ESCALTOR
People who shout out random shit or song requests at gigs - HAVE YOU HEARD OF A SETLIST?! ALSO, NO ONE HAS COME TO HEAR YOU SHOUT SHIT! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. IF I WERE NEXT TO YOU I WOULD GIVE YOU A SEVERE TALKING TO
People who sound insulted when you offer help and refuse - FINE, KEEP ON SUFFERING YOU STUPID BASTARDS
Everyone who lives in Fulham apaprt from me - YOU MAKE ME EMBARASSED TO BE A MEMBER OF THE HUMAN RACE
People who refer to Kensington and Chelsea as "The Royal Borough" - SEE ABOVE
Everytime I get dragged there I want to hand out copies of "Bowling for Columbine" to the gathered idiotic sloanes, informing them its their research for when I next come.
it is fairly cheap at least!
move to somewhere more normal
And I like them and I didn't want to live at home any more. I was born and grew up there, and while I knew it had got a bit posh, I still harboured the ideal of it being a hub of the working class and Irish immigrant families (like mine). How wrong I was. The only thing really still there from my parent's time are the road names.
Also, sadly, you may have heard of these things called contracts. They kind of bind you in.
The district line - If Stephen Hawking wants to research black holes, he should start at Earl's Court
I think loiving with people you like is more important than where you live.
On the contract thing, I am lucky, I have a very "nice" landlord.
its like a cross between living and loving
but then when every time you step out the door you have to contend with a bunch of Sloanes not going to work and walking their tiny dogs ( no one in Fulham has a dog bigger than my foot) and dodge the hordes of pissed up antipodeans battering the fuck out of one another whilst gloating about sporting victories at you, which is particularly grating when you're a dual nationality chap like me.
In fact the one time I made the mistake of pointing this out to an Aussie nearly got me into a lot of bother. After taking a load of flak about the ashes and being called a Pom, I pointed out that I possessed both a British and Irish passports, he seemed appalled. "Ahh you're just a stupid mick! Hahaha, you're a dumbass potato muncher!". I retorted that Ireland had achieved a lot more than 'Straya. Like what?, he brayed. "Well, Ireland has actually achieved independence from Britain and also it's economy isn't based upon everyone participating in some kind of national service that involves emigrating to Britain and working in a bar in Earl's Court"
"Fuck you you dumb ass mick! My bar's in Baron's Court!"
Thankfully he was too drunk to start a fight so I left sharpley.
Repeat this ad naseum every friday forever.
YES YES YES
why do people do this? you only sound like a cunt? people were doing it at Bill Callahan the other day and it made me a bit embarrased to be in the crowd. FUCK OFF.
oversized clothes tucked into their ugg boots
massive 'libertines' scarves wrapped around half of their face, while the other half is covered by huge sunglasses
all their hair scraped on top of their head till it looks like some kind of birds nest
those stupid dresses that look like shapeless bin bags with neon patterns on
students who shop in waitrose
people who claim they are 'random'
do people wear them? i don't understand, they're the most fucking hideous item of clothing i've ever seen in my life. Worse than playsuits.
cat/frog slippers! :D
george from rainbow
standard everyday DiS snobbery?
you make me want to puke. PUKE IN THE STREET.
always pull a disgusted face.
who use the term "middle class" too much
who see me around town and say: 'He's such a pussy with his girly jeans.'
They don't understand. They have no idea. They think everyone's aim is to be 'hardcore'.
Or actually, any boy who laughs at me for that matter. Most of the time, they're pretty insecure, and I could bet my house and life on the fact I've experienced girls of a level of attractiveness they'll only dream about.
i don't ever wear navy so i don't have this problem.
Women with size 6 feet who try to squeeze them into size 5, in four inch high stilettos.
I do not WANT to be forced to look at your foot cleavage [shudder], nor an unnatural amount of scrunched up looking flesh poking up above the heel, where you thought you were fucking cinderella but actually your feet make you look like one of the ugly sisters.
And before anyone says 'well stop looking at people's feet', I can't. I like nice shoes, so I look.
People that yell "Alright love?" at me out of their cars when I'm walking down the street should be punched. This happened to me three times today. What is the point? Just fuck off!
People who listen to commercial hip hop / r&b and think it is the best form.
People who use text speak when writing emails / letters.
People with lots of Tattoos, especially the chinese letters style ones and think they are being unique.
People who wear sports clothing when not playing sports.