'For your next party make a pot of endangered species stew.
Wear a Confederate Flag pin on your lapel.
Give out candy cigarettes on Halloween.
Give out REAL cigarettes on Halloween.
Keep a framed photo of Oliver North on your desk at work.
Call a bum a bum.
Wear Nike gym shoes.
Launch a petition drive to carve Ronald Reagan's visage into Mt. Rushmore.
...on Earth Day.
Advocate a nuclear first strike against Canada...
As justification, offer the fact that Canada has Socialized Medicine.
Drink Coors Beer
Tell this joke: "Tom Daschle, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore are in a life raft, but there are only enough provisions for one. Who gets saved?" Answer: The country.
Cross a picket line.
Throw a party to celebrate the execution of a notorious murderer.
When they flip the switch, lead the crowd in a chorus of: "na-na-na-na, hey-hey."
Wear a Washington Redskins jersey....
.........accessorized by your Cleveland Indians baseball cap.
Buy a gun...
...as a present for your 10 year old...
...to celebrate his Junior NRA Membership.
Drain a wetland.
Drive a gas guzzling SUV....
.....with a "Pave the Rainforests" bumper sticker.
...a big, smelly cigar...
...in the no smoking section....
....on the day of The Great American Smokeout
Express profound admiration for Richard Nixon.
Attend boxing matches.
Refer to an adult woman as a "girl."
Take every possible tax deduction....and then some.
Contribute money to the Jessie Helms Senatorial Campaign
Argue that the poor are undertaxed.
Recommend deportation to Cuba as a solution to "The Homeless Problem."
Say you were just kidding. Then recommend work camps instead.
Watch Fox News.
Harm liberal actors in the making of your movie.
Listen to Dr. Laura.
Interject the remark, "Janet is sure a funny name for a guy."
Drill for oil in your back yard.
Give away Ann Coulter's new book, "Slander," to friends as Christmas presents.
Recite the Constitution
Send pages of the Bible in the self-addressed stamped envelopes received in junk mail.
Support Ron Paul
State that the Stock Markets will crash to 1965 levels.
Pay off a Jesse Jackson shakedown settlement with copies of Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations.
Advocate "nucular" energy!
Use the word niggardly in a sentence.
Call your secretary Honey and tell her she looks great.
Open doors for your wife, and pull out her chair.
Call your Mexican friends Mexicans.
State: "Old-Growth Redwood logs impart a resinous taste to the more delicately-flavored Endangered Species Kebabs (e.g. Spotted Owl). For this reason I prefer to use Tropical Hardwood briquettes."
Insist that pot smokers really are stupid.
Wear a T shirt that has a mushroom cloud and the words , "Made in USA, tested in Japan."
Tell them Roosevelt was a Russian traitor
Insist deviled eggs come from evil chickens '