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and spread it all round uni
i actually feel like dying 2nite. Just drank myself stupid to foegot.
so much worse
just had the worst time @ the pub sonce school
you clearly didn't
boy in 'the squid and the whale' film.
:'( the liars!
let alone touched it
Mannequins are exempt from this charge.
and to report back what was there (or not)?
I told them their teachers had told me that it was an 'extra credit' assignment.
constantly while doing it.
It is kinda funny, yeah (nobody likes to be heard wanking - also, it's worth asking: How fucking loud are you?!)
Laugh it off, it's not a problem. Failing that, cum on her toothbrush as revenge. That'll learn her
theres not a single person who was taking the piss there that hasnt wanked themselves
like the maid.
but having the piss ripped all night = not so much fun. it'll be fine soon though
"lol, someone heard you wanking"
"... yeah, so what?"
END OF PISS-TAKING.
was load porn. Im kinda just basking in anonimity
talking dirty to yourself, were you?
Glad to here you've really changed!
he must have thought we'll sympathise with him because as we're on a messageboard we must be wankers.
So in a roundabout way, he's calling you all of us a wanker.
How d'we like them apples?
got caught wanking on the toilet, with the door unlocked, and open in front of him, by a girl. We occassionally see him around, and when we do, we turn to each other and say 'see that guy yeah? Hes a complete wanker he is'.
Dont fuck birch, its not good for you. PLAN REVENGE.
really you're all wankers?
We were wankers for using irony in the first place.
No wonder you GOT WOOD
Im here till thursday. try the scampi.
how much noise were you making?!
Oh MAN, I'm so fucking hot right now. Do it, do it harder. WANK ME, BITCH"
last year this guy from my course came back to my house after a night out and passed out so I put a blanket over him. Then, at about 6 in the morning when everyone else was leaving we noticed he was wanking under the blanket. We took the piss and told everyone we knew
having gone to boarding school. We onc told another kid he had gonnohreha (sic) because his ejaculate was white. He beleived us and ran to the sanatorium. Gullible kids were born to be bullied.
for a lobotomy?
Works for me.
locked up in a cell with a shameless Vietnamese kid who'd jack-off - in the middle of the day! - whilst humming the theme to the Godfather. Day after day. Sometimes twice a day. Always humming the Godfather theme.
Part of my wanted to laugh. But the other part of me punched him in the face.
or was that a quote?
I'd hazard a guess.
becase it may have been part of the punishment...
Judge:"The condemend is sentenced to 40 days of prision with vietnamese godfather fetish boy"
His English was worse than someone from Newcastle. So I don't know.
Me? I went to prison for possession of a controlled substance. Turns out heroin is illegal. Go figure.
I don't know what you mean by "was that a quote."
still you reminde me of this...
that's a true story. It's funny...erm, now.
You'll catch me telling "funny/scary/crazy shit that happened while I was in prison" stories often enough, I suspect.
how'd I miss this beauty of a thread?
condolences my man.
what were you doing? yelling as you came? thumping the headboard against the wall for adding sexing noise?
'living the dream'.
is one of lifes little treats that truly is free,enjoy it and lock the fucking door next time.
Ha! Reminds me of another fun prison story.
In a dorm, there was this border brother Mexican - what is it about non-English speaking guys and public masterbation? - and he would put his farmer straw hat over his privates and do his thing. Before God and everybody!
So showing more restraint than I had (which was kinda alright because he really wasn't all there, know what I mean?) the fellas went and told the cops about him.
The cop walks up to the guy mid-stroke and says, "You can't be spanking your monkey now."
I swear to God! Funny as shit. But the guy doesn't speak English so he's got no idea what's going on. The cop then says, "roll up his shit he's going to the hole." hahaha!!
You should have shanked him. Right in the grill.
can't hear you over this din
that you'd have no difficulty finding a 'lady friend' if you ever felt the...um...urge
sometimes a wank isn't just about having to - sometimes it's about wanting to
so, i don't think so.
but Kaisa is generally the Finnish variant and Kajsa the Swedish spelling - maybe one of her folks is Finnish, or her grandma or something
did you get her number?
don't say you're humming the Godfather theme.
Just spread the word that you heard her having a lady wank, to cancel it out, like.
is actually the best course of action suggested on this thread
then start saying her name every time your masturbate forthwith loud enough so she can hear, in the manner of Steve Coogan in Three Fights Two Weddings and a Funeral, interspersed with phrases such as "knife" and "very gradual".
...her response was that unless the person/people mocking you are in a niche of about 1%, you are surrounded by hypocrites.
I, of course, have never done it myself. Oh no. Nor has anyone else reading this.
(i.e. chill out)
be interested now!
if she likes the thought of you wanking enough to talk about it to loads of people, she probably wants some action
you must have a very loud wank action, if she heard you, or maybe she was at the door looking through the gap!
he was watching porn and the volume was up a bit too much
have done was offer to help out.
A head peeps round the door. A mischievous glint in her eye: "Perhaps I can.. give you a hand with that?"
Note to self: consider career as writer of erotic novellas.
I just can't reconcile the thread title with the post count.