I was a chambermaid (or house keeper as they now call them) one summer in a hotel in Cornwall. There were a few gross incidents that stand out. The worst was:

Me: "knock, knock, housekeeping!"
Pause . . .. No answer so enters room. Met by putrid smell and darkness.

Old lady in bed "oh, hello dear, I didn’t hear you"

Me "sorry, I can come back later" *gag*

Old lady in bed "oh, no, don't mind me. I'm just feeling a bit fragile. I was up all night with food poisoning. There’s a bit of a mess in the bathroom.”

I enter the bathroom to be met with the most extreme pebble dashing and pukey mess ever. Can’t complain out loud as she’s in earshot!

You?