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according to this fellow:
jupiter's like ENORMOUS.
nothing. Nuke the bastard.
bloody jupiter. coming over here and taking our jobs.
We need Jupiter to be there and capture loads of dangerous inter-planetary crap.
most extraordinary crap
jupiter isn't nearly dense enough to ignite, though. crazy foo'.
being said, it'd be pretty fucking cool if it did..
if not then I bagsy it.
I don't have time to go over his calculations, unfortunately.
This is my favourite sentence this week. I will be using it as often as possible, context be damned.
'i don't have time to go over his calculations, unfortunately'.
and hope it'll cause fission.
Does anyone still care? No.
What the hell's that big red spot about?! puky-coloured jovian hydrogenous DICKHEAD.
you are glue
'cheer up' sticker.
I'll pm you my address.
is a frickin' legend. Anybody who ties together hyperdimensional geometry and monuments on Mars is alright by me.
Some of his better-known theories include:
The Face on Mars is an artificial construct 
There is a Martian City at Cydonia 
(Adapted with acknowledgment from Tom Van Flandern) Mars was once the moon of a larger planet, that then exploded, leaving Mars isolated. 
The advanced civilisation on Mars had prior warning of the cataclysm and so escaped via migration to planet Earth, eventually adapting to the environment and becoming the present human race.
Numerous rocks surrounding the landing sites of the Mars Exploration Rovers are in fact pieces of Martian machinery. 
Rocks on Mars containing biological fossils were purposely destroyed by NASA's rover. 
The true color of Mars is salmon red with patches of greenish plant life and a light blue sky. 
Hyperdimensional physics 
The United States government has covered up the presence of extraterrestrials    
The many historical failures of Mars-bound spacecraft were due to deliberate sabotage by a 'cabal' of powerful people who were desperate to conceal the 'truth' of Martian civilisation.
The Space Agency murdered the Apollo 1 astronauts 
The Saturnian moon Iapetus is an artificial world. 
The Galileo spacecraft, which burnt up in Jupiter's atmosphere, caused a mysterious black spot due to its nuclear payload 
NASA Missions to Mars are a "well documented interest of the Bush family". 
The Face on Mars is an indication of a Human/Feline hybrid design found in ancient Earth civilization, and knowledge of its existence is being suppressed by NASA. .
NASA is also suppressing knowledge of an ancient civilization on the Moon. The advanced technology of this civilization is "lying around on the Moon's surface."