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...That Will Immediately End The Sex.
(I stole that from somewhere)
both of you
Oh come on, when has that ever worked?
I wasn't joking. [straight face]
"Please wait. I am unsure that the present angles will sustain throughout"
why the fuck would you need to tell anyone that?
"Please move down the bed: I am a tall person"
"Did it go in?"
she wasn^t happy
"Ew, what's that?"
more than once.
In my defence I had been divorced approx 6mths when i met a bloke so it woz my ex's name i said instead of new blokes name! We argued then went back to bed and made up he's now my 2nd husband!
there was an urban myth from my old school that is hilarious.
Some girl, lets call her Eve, was sucking some guy, lets call him Adam, off.
Eve's really getting into, and so's Adam.
Adam can feel himself reaching climax and the passion swells up in his body until it's too much.
Adam is about to ejaculate, so he expresses this passion by shouting
"SQUIRTY SQUIRTY TIME!!!", before coming on Eve's face.
Eve walks out of Adam's house and never speaks to him again.
I have a feeling Adam feels it was worth it.
that is terrible.
to end the sex ?
tv schedules wait for no man.
Sometimes it's just enough already, y'know?
Bad experiences you want to share ?
This one time, I'd had enough. The End.
Not really interesting...
wasn't my anecdote...
it was his friend who slept with a bloke who climaxed by screaming it. amazing.
that actually happens to you...
before she protested?
Get with the threading system.
'YES! YES! JON-BENET! YES!'
no-one would say 'FEEL THE SMEGMA AS IT COATS YOUR CERVIX IN GRIT'.
i'd probably end the sex
to MARRY THEM RIGHT THERE
in fact.. shit
'orgasm' in a really matter-of-fact way whenever you have an orgasm.
orgasm. orgasm. orgasm. etc.
(nb not actual real-time representation)
you could say matter-of-factly during sex, say at 30 second intervals. I propose "NatWest".
hang on... er... hang on... shit... I think I got my cock caught in your pubes... shit, there's a knot... shit... man, that should do it'
Once I getcha out them clothes
Privacy is on the do'
But still they can hear ya screamin' mo'
Girl I'm feelin' whatchu feelin'
No more hopin' and wishin'
I'm about to take my key 'n'
Stick it in the ignition
BUT MY BODY...MY BODY'S TELLIN' ME YESSSS
I like the crotch on you
I want what you've got baby
Girl I like those daisy dukes on you
Girl you look so fine, I wanna get with you
So tell me who's your man,
We will have a talk with him
(Actual, no fooling lyrics. I wonder what the '...' bit is. I bet it's rude.)
(I know I'm replying to myself but so what)
Girl, you got that sex weed
I just want to hit it all the time
Sex so good that it gets me high
Bring that home grown to me
Girl you got that body
Light it up, let me take a puff
Of your sex weed
you can reply to me anytime
...of your sex weed.
I'm all out
In a horrible cockney accent... Like the way Frank Lampard says it in his mucky video.
I MEGALOLED when I saw it.
How have I missed this? Link?
(No, I'm not searching for 'frank lampard mucky video')
When he was left out the England squad for a major tournament with Rio and Joe Cole I think? I would link you but I've only seen it on one of those Channel 5 documentaries like "100 sextapes that changed the world." or something.
I'm confused. Was Lampard actually commentating on his own actions?
P.S. You guys have made me so proud. I will announce the winner of this thread in due course.
to the original question...
"You have two wishes left"
is better than you?"
is better than me?"
just came, or am cut - can you help me out?"
a 60 year old woman up to an hours foreplay to become lubricated enough for penetrative sex you know
this would slash waiting times dramatically to just 70 seconds. It works for the 'man' in the advert
my dirty ass is a good one
infact saying stick it in my dirty anything is a surefire way of wierding someone out
WOW, it's like your cunt is eating my dick!
But if ever wanted to stop sex that would do it I reckon!
A girl maybe ?
But which guy ?
have you never met an extremely attractive woman in a bar, taken her home and started making love to her... only to find that as you sober up, she is actually a hideous freak with immense stamina.
I had one such beast-lady lock me in her hotel room once, when on holiday in Greece. She wouldn't let me leave until I had a shower with her ...*shudder*
I was never that drunk...
Ahh, well done for avoiding that trap then!
monday wish me luck"
Wish me luck'
because this is what is weakening us so that the light cavelry of the 4 horsemen can pick us off.
Mammon controls our democracies, our dictatorships and our socialism.
It is controlling our birth our food our life, our death our burial.
Thear are hardly any pure natural humans left, almost all compromise their humanity for mammons sake.
Mammon controls the conditions for life on earth too.
Mammon makes the laws that will control how you behave.
Mammon has you.
RELEASE THE WHITE LOVE-HOUNDS
Jeez, it really does look like a badly packed kebab doesn't it?
couple of boys that can't do it Properly"
What the hell are you doing? It's like watching a retard trying to fuck a door-knob!
"that ceiling could do with painting"
or if your bent over
"I think i'll hoover when you've finished this floors filthy!"
Mrs Knees was not best pleased
"So, what do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?"
Helps keep the wolf from the door.
bet you were in here!
just cos it'll confuse them.
Dude, you're supposed to lick toads, not sniff them.
or anything else totally confusing.
"Mr Cameron undid my buttons!" screamed at the top of one's voice.
Or maybe just the word "Hello" repeated over and over again for as long as it takes.
and if it was, it was from many years ago.
"...never used to do that" or "...never used to do it that that way"
Not a good image, not good at all.
that'd make think I was sexing Bamos :D
reply box, then i deleted it...:(
This is something i worry about a lot.
Invoke stealthy = immediate climax