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i need chearing up because everyone is out tonight and I'm in ill.
dont get it
made me laugh. thanks
that made me laugh far too much!
but still didn't make it as good as your baker joke.
he loves islam (HIS LAMB)
i'm too late with my thread.
Because he's a cunt.
because he's a cunt.
jokes could go on all night.
cunt ones i mean
Ive posted it before, but i dont care, it makes me chuckle.
what do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
a pilot you fucking racist.
between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a ferarri in my garage.
A bit longggg....
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night."
All my love.
"P.S. I hear the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
says, "We've got a drink named after you" The horse replies, "What? Keith?"
"A white horse walks into a bar"
= the best joke of all time.
Oh, and it's "We've got a whisky named after you!"
"What, Eric Whisky?"
and i'm still LOLing like a good'un.
Iraq's foreign minister is visiting the US and has just finished a meeting with George Bush, and they're chatting afterwards...
Iraqi - George, can I just say, the programme you have here in the US, Star Trek, its very popular with my family, my son loves it, but he's a liitle upset about the lack of characters from the Middle East in the series, I mean you have the Americans, the Scots, the Chinese, but no Iraqis, why is this?
Bush - Oh thats easy, its because its set in the future.
the bus driver says
"Fucking hell love, that is the ugliest baby I've ever seen. Truly the most horrible inbred thing ever to cross my path. You and IT can get on this bus for free, just get it away from me!!"
The woman sit next to a man, obviously shaken by the drivers comments.
The man says
"Christ love, you alright??"
"No" she replies, "not really, the driver just said that this boy is the ugliest thing he's ever seen and he said such rude words!!"
"You don't have to put up with that. You should give him a piece of your mind. Right, you give me the monkey and go do it!"
a trailer full of rice and a trailer full of babies?
You can't unload a trailer full of rice with a pitchfork.
"say something funny."
I deliberated for a while before saying "Did you hear about the guy who drowned in a bowl of Muesli?
Strong Currants dragged him under."
Her "ok" Then she walked away, leaving me to go home to an empty house again. Goodnight.
what do you call an epileptic in a pile of leaves ?
is epileptic and I can't wait to tell him this face to face. One of my other best friends has no sense of humour and I can't wait to tell her it face to face either
You'd do well to just take that bit out.
What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in the Uk?
"The joke has nothing to do with epilepsy.
You'd do well to just take that bit out"
wtf are you on about ? Clear off, I'm busy enriching peoples lives with Hindi Abba :p