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who's seen one?
was it helpful?
she said it helped an awful lot. i fully endorse going!
but it was years ago, during my parent's divorce.
i keep thinking i should now, but.. meh.
on internet message boards.
and give you a wedgie.
but my mum just got really weird when i said i was going to see a counsellor to help out with a few things i'm going through. she can't understand that i'd rather talk to someone whose job it is to listen to my problems rather than unload the burden on friends (who already know way too much) or her (i don't remember the last time she took anything i was worried/excited/emotional about in any way seriously).
i can't see why it's such a problem?
in her words: "well, at least we know where the family stands now". yeah, way to show you're suitable to hear my problems.
it's totally different than talking to friends and family, because people who are close to you often end up getting upset themselves, which doesn't help at all.
i think it has a stigma around it as people think that the only time you should see a counsellor is if you're mentally unhinged or, schizophrenic or the like.
my mum is certainly none of the above, she just needed someone to talk to about stuff that was going on with my dad, a person that wasn't biased and could come at it from a neutral angle. they helped her immensely and through that she gave me some nuggets of wisdom too. she wanted me to go also but, i didn't. dunno why really, i kind of detached myself from it all. but, it's only a good thing.
but once i get to relax with her, hopefully i'll open up a bit more.
i'm totally like you around strangers. even with people i know just a little bit.
i just.. don't want to be like that any more and i have a fairly clear idea of what's holding me back.
oh yeah, and my mum also thinks i'm just going to go in there and slag her off for a whole hour. what bullshit.
they're tricky things, mothers. in my experience, they can often take it personally with things like this, because they have natural protection instincts towards their offspring, and obviously being told that their kids are seeking help for problems with an outside source is going to provoke a reaction it.
ps, my mum doesn't know I go. I guess it's a bit harder to do that when you live at home!
I think in many ways it's better to someone totally outside your social/family circles.
I never talk to friends about any 'problems' I have. They think I'm a Man Of Mystery as a result.
and really disliked it, but i think that's probably because i was only about 12, and really held it against my parents that they'd forced me to go.
i think going to one out of choice would be entirely different, and would probably be quite helpful.
during divorce, parent's death, at university. these things happen
and yes. Very.
There are different types of counsellors. I would highly recommend Gestalt practictioners. Unlike psychotherapy, where they listen to you and you do most of the talking, Gestalt is a two way thing, and they give you practical advice and homework and stuff.
These generally aren't available free though. I went to an NHS-endorsed counsellor once, and it was totally rubbish, just someone who gave crappy generic advice which didn't apply to me. Gestalt and other highly trained people are very expensive, but definitely worth it if you can afford it.
Avoid them. They're a shower of unctuous bastards.
and I've done some counselling training, too, when I was at university. As Squirrel says, it depends on the type, but I think they're pretty helpful - especially if you're going out of choice, as you tend to get out what you put in.
I see a psychologist once a week. She's an evil bitch and I severely dislike her. But now I'm all caught up in the system I can't get out. I don't find it helpful at all and she's called the police on me and sent me to hospital twice when I really didn't want to.
Although, I know people that clearly find it a lot better than I do and I think it can be useful if you need it.
Mainly because they keep trying to diagnose me with things I'm sure I don't have.
Doctors and psychiatrists are worse though, they try to make you take drugs and stay in institutions for like no reason at all!
but i like the idea of someone neutral and learned just listening and giving advice. obviously they're not for everyone and your ma's reaction is most probably just because she's upset that she can't help you herself. a strange way to show it but it's just because she cares so much i imagine.
It was one of the most pointless hours of my entire life.
my sister has been seeing one.
She said it was really helpful and brought up some shit from the past which she tried to ignore.
they can be good.
is a trained counsellor at cardiff uni. having spoken to her about the sort of stuff people see her about (in a generic sense of course...) I would agree it could be very helpful.