Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
Q: What do you call a robot who wears socks?
A: 'Socks' McGee.
No tomatoes are visible.
Do you see?
canniHOWLism..no that doesn't work...
after another 30 seconds of consideration, it's the best i can do.
i was in the pub the other night with van gough and i said ' do you want a pint' and he replied' nah i've got one 'ere ' !!
boom boom ch!
you weren't starting a singalong?
it was the drums and crash thing at the end of a joke silly.
the two bangs don't both go boom.
and your logic is my logic
i won't tell any b...ogic.
and snooze away
im off to bed....big day of DiSsing and sleeping tommorow!! goodnight
one turns to the other and says 'You're round.'
i get it!
Not really a joke as much as a lesson in popular culture.
Guitar solo me to death?
still makes me laugh
One says to the other, 'it's hot in here isn't it?'
The joke is, SAUSAGES CAN'T TALK!!!!!
Because his wife's dead!
Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.
A shitting leopard.
until it's Bill Withers
Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.
What do you call something which is put in the middle of a duckpond, to prevent ducks crashing into each other and getting sexual pleasure from it?
A J.G. Ballard mallard bollard.
At the marine doctor's.
Go for the juggler.
as a circus is a corporate entity which includes inanimate objects. The Juggler merely forms part of it.
its tight-knit workforce would presumably be so shocked by the attack of one of their performers that they'd have no choice but to close down.
But most circus owners are notoriously hard on the performers in their employ. Would such a murderous attack not simply be expected in the line of duty, with a replacement being quickly found for the 'murderee', a replacement all too aware that he or she too is 'living on borrowed time'?
and then ate it with his fingers
quite a durable bread, presumably flat, maybe unleavened?
a full knowledge of the caveats involved in wiping one's arse with bread before making such an informed decision.
But then, it's more likely that if he DID wipe his arse with bread, it would be a habit he'd picked up. So presumably he WOULD in fact have had this knowledge.
On balance, I think your supposition is correct.
despite hygiene rules quite clearly stated in the bakery handbook.
he kneaded a poo!
It's Barrymore. BEST GO
there were these two giants right...
that was to meths.
just means 'destroy' or 'stop'. The juggler forms a vital part of the circus and the elimination of him or her would most likely prove critical to the ongoing circus of the circus as a whole.
i have no idea what this means
Jokes made by robots, for robots
A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.
A robot walks into a pharmacy. The pharmacist asks him if he'd like anything. The robot replies, "A soul."
How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilisation?
"Waiter! Waiter! What's this robot doing in my soup?"
"It looks like he's performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain."
What's the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?
The gnawing jeers of men.
What's a robot's favorite cereal?
(Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)
Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, "Why did you do that?" She replies, "I wanted to see time fly!" The robot says, "Ah ... A perfect subject for elimination," and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.
Why did the robot order a milkshake?
To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a robot.
By ronslunchbox in thread Jokes made by robots, for robots