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Cringe.
I travelled to a meeting today with my boss, and afterwards, as is (usually) a good idea with these things, it was time for a pre-M25 piss before heading home. I needed to go a bit so figured it was a good plan.
So we went into the toilet, stood at the two urinals...
NOTHING. Not a thing. My bladder must've taken a sabbatical. I hear the merry tinkle of natures work to my left, and for a full 20 seconds, I'm standing there, bits in hand, listening to my employer take a piss.
I figured I needed to cut my losses, so proceeded to exclaim "COR! Stagefright!" before zipping up and walking out. Why? WHY?
It thankfully wasn't mentioned again. Yet.
Anyone top that for utter cringing embarrassment? Make me feel better. Thank you.
Yep this has happened to me
It happens to all blokes. Apparently, it's called "kettleness".
Pissing shyness...
see - make yourself feel better
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=kettleness+piss&meta=
But what does it have to do with kettles or kettle chips?
I can do tricks while at the urinal.
I demand that extreme pissing be an Olympic Sport!
I've never suffered from it.
Should I perhaps start pissing on a stage?
Ok, to prove that it's "all in the mind" try this
Where you're sitting now... in front of your computer. Try and piss. Seriously. Try and piss, even a little bit.
It's impossible. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't piss myself.
At least not sober.
Pissing in really busy toilets
where people are clearly waiting for you to go, stanidng behind you... It's like THE PRESSURE, THE PRESSURE, BACK OFF YOU OVER BEARING BASTARDS I NEED TO RELAX.
Anyway, just rememebered this story: One time, I went into the bogs of the Square Bar in Reading. I went in and this skinhead shit when in there too. There's about six urials along the wall and he stood one end and I stood the other. He was totally giving my lairy looks, just staring at my face, clearly trying to be threatening. And I managed to piss anyway, finished and walked off. It was like IN YOUR FACE you skinhead shit.
That's the power of urination.
you can do it
but it's difficult
i did once make a pissing noise with my mouth
when i had stagefright
i dont think i fooled my peeing partners though
I also find it difficult to do a dump
if someone comes and sits in the next cubical... you know, it's silent and you're about to let rip...
this is why i don't use urinals
or public bathrooms that have other people in them.