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Earlier Today - "You have a nice face"
once tried to charge me for "important" information about spiders.
what was this information? i nned to know
and possibly his brain.
he wasn't a good salesman, he gave me this info for free in the end.
They'll say anything, wont they? No matter how outlandish and crazily wide of the mark it may be
I love you really
It's okay, I've come to terms with it.
But once I made it, there was no looking back
That station is surrounded by homeless people, it's like playing bulldog getting into the city centre. I gave this homeless person a couple of quid anyway, they sounded really desperate. A few minutes later I was waiting outside the station and I saw the allegedly homeless person come out and get into a cab. I couldn't even afford a cab myself.
how he needed money for a hot drink, then decided to tell me his inhaler for his 'really bad asthma' had ran out, he needed a new one but the pharmacy won't give him one as he doesn't have a doctor for a prescrition and no address to register himself with. He also thinks he might have throat cancer at the tender age of 33, after he told me that he picked up a half smoked cigarette like it was a piece of gold and pocketed it.
they're inside it, too!
I've been in and around that station a few times now and have never noticed that many homeless people there, a couple at the most.
I used to have to go there every single day to get a train for work... you just have to keep moving or you get nailed, simple as.
i nearly always got a mouthful of abuse for not complying.
one time i was waiting for a cab just outside with a friend, and this guy approached us and just as he opened his mouth the tannoy boomed 'SHEFFIELD TRAIN STATION WOULD LIKE TO REMIND COMMUTERS NOT TO GIVE MONEY TO PEOPLE WHO MAY ASK FOR IT'. he didn't even bother asking after that.
those people in that cult that try and make you say 'gouranga' ask me if i'd buy them a pint of milk once, i politely declined
a homeless man tried to sell me pencils.
some Irish gypsy junkie ran over to me and said:
"Alright, son. I've been stabbed and I need to get to hospital. I need a pound to get the bus to the hospital. Give me a pound, son."
"I only have notes."
"Haha. So anyway, friend, as I was saying..."
Ignorning them is good. Or pretending to be foreign.
Unless he meant he'd been stabbed metaphorically in the heart by his cheating girlfriend or something. Or stabbed with a drawing pin or something.
"call an ambulance. and DON'T BLEED ON MY FUCKING SHOES!"
on my profile not long ago.
I already have some tramp friends in Oxford. lol.
every once in a while. Besides I really don't mind it. :)
and that you're easy. FASTER PUSSYCAT, KILL!KILL!
Pigfoot is lovely in real life.
I don't really understand the underlying concept
I did mean everything I said to doubtful and I think she's easy
Spit shine your black luck now baby. says:
telepathy at work
*not talking to you ever*
I spent that £2 wisely!
was it really him who was the cheeky git in that transaction?
No picture! gr
for £5, which somehow went up to £23. Then she gave me a 'lucky charm'.
I carried this charm with me for ages and ages and ages.
I saw it a few months later...
...in Claire's Accessories.
and Claire made an accessory just like the lucky charm in it's image.
you have just restored my faith in humanity! £23 NOT WASTED!
I was blessed by members of the Romany Travelling community when I was born anyway, so that woman is probably burning underneath a bus somewhere.
Or not, because I'm nicer than that.
He saw the shiny financial gesture as some kind of romantic gesture, and promptly rose to his feet to hug me
It was quite a passionate embrace. Had it not been for the combination of his odour and the crushing looks of contempt from passers by, I could quite easily have enjoyed that hug
And you'd be right. I'm rubbish : (
Don't beat yourself up.
double gesture. cool.
You three are too kind. In other news, 'gesticulate' is quite a nice word, no?
I try to use it whenever I can. I was gesticulating at my brother's back earlier.
is a word then I'd say that was quite impressive too.
"I performed a gesticulation on my brothers back earlier."
plus gesticulate is similar to the word gestate.
'ejaculaction' in the dictionary. I mean, how is it not a word?!
"Good night last night?"
"Yeah, it was actually. Ended up going home with this girl"
"Yeah? Nice one. Any ejaculaction?"
"You know it, toots"
Lottie, you're in and around Oxford for most of the year. Could you do me a huuuuuuuuuge favour? Flirt your way into the bed of one of the dictionary people, and then use that word in a sentence to flatter him ("Oh Eugene, that was some thoroughly enjoyable ejaculaction"). If you do this, I will love you forever more
is that the words 'whore' and 'seductress' are in the dictionary too...
Also, another peep out of you Dalkin and you'll get yourself banned from the Ejaculaction Faction that I plan on forming
when I say I'm planning on not joining that.
Ejaculaction and Testicualtion can go hand in hand, surely?
and I'll ejaculactate on it?
I like the cut of your jib. You're back in!
i offered to buy a tramp a mcdonalds as it was cold, i was waiting for a friend half an hour away and wanted to be nice.
he says: "could i just have the money"
being a coward hand him all my coinage.
some guy came up to me and basically did that thing that men to when they want to start a fight with someone when they put their forhead against yours.
He almost did that then went
"I only need £1 for a bus mate, got any change ?"
I couldent just say "no, go away" cos he looked like he was going to hit me.
I heard coins jangling so i thought "itll be nothing, ill get it out to show him ive got nothing"
it was a £2 coin
suddenly, the amount required for "his bus" increased to £2
I gave it to him and walked away.
The same street my brother had his magazine intimidated away from him too. HIS MAGAZINE FOR FUCKS SAKE!
What is the world coming to
strategic aggression works wonders and you hardly ever have to actually hit anyone
Last person I gave money to was in New York or Chicago, he had a sign which read 'look, enough of the bullshit, I need money for drugs and better whores'
Gota appreciate the honesty, although it is probably just a ruse.
He was probably going to donate that change to the orphanage that had raised him since his crack addict mother threw him out at the age of five
of sorts, jakies vs junkies, those astride both causes fighting everyone. It'll go largely unoticed by normal society as massive Kursk scale battles will take place in the sewers, down frightful looking alleyways and on top of mountain plateus. During all of this fullerov will sit in a chair, stroking a white cat and smirking at other peoples demise
when we drove past on the bus he had a sign reading 'need money for food' we paused at the traffic lights he let the rest of the sign down 'also drugs' :)
It was dislocated he said I just need a pound to get the bus to hospital. I gave it to him because I didn't want to look at his grotesque shoulder any more. He asked the person behind me for money too. I swear they target me because they know I am shy. Ahhh.
that would be quite cool actually.
And it cost me money:(
the man turned out to be mental.
say "you cunt, I need drugs so I can continue my orphan crippling campaign" so I don't feel bad about myself
There are loads of them in Nottingham, fucking loads!
"Thanks for not ignoring me and being rude like everyone else, I'm on the street and I really need £1 to get a bus/into the shelter/a cup of tea/ etc etc."
We do have a guy that sings for your change, which is nice.
And a guy who tells shit jokes.
And a really annoying guy who claims to be an Australian stranded in our "beautiful country"
I forgot about that line, "It's amazing how many people don't help you and just like to see you suffer and be cold for the night, it's not my fault I'm homeless."
it's enough to drive a man to drink and drugs!"
There was a guy around Old Street for ages with this hideous green pus-filled gouge in his arm.
He kept asking for money to get to hospital. He should have phoned an ambulance.
A Big Issue man made me feel guilty for not giving him money last night.
I resent being asked for money too much though. I now have a 'no giving money on the street' policy. I will donate to charity in my own time when I reach a rational decision about it, thank you.
That's frightening. I practically live there, I should watch out.
The last time I hit a telephone pole it was because I was watching this guy from the street as I was walking along and he had a fucking great television, so I started watching that instead of where I was going.
It were painful.
Last year I lived pretty much on london road and had the same guy try to tell me about how he'd never seen his kid (cue torn old photo of some child) and had to get to croydon in order to do so about 5 times. Blatant crackhead.
But yeah, the alkie tramps who hang out by the level are good value, they'd heckle us when we played football down there last summer. Heckling without using anything approaching a real word.
Would you give me spare change? *hopeful look*
I'm back on rollies. :)
*looks at profile*
Hi Ash, I'm good thanks.
How are you? I hear you moved out.
I want a hot drink and a chicken bake. :)
who was massive and black got up right in my face and started wobbling on about how hes from manchester and doesnt hav any money, then probably thought that i looked like the sort of person whos into music and proceeded to ask if i liked the stone roses and that he was mates with their manager. i dont know why he thought that would make me give him money... maybe he wasnt lying..
"you have the palest skin i have ever seen."
so i gave him the thumbs up.
"can i touch your skin? i swear i've never seen anything like it before."
my new place of work years ago, into town with this fella who worked in my office. I barely knew the guy as we had just started, and we walked past a soup kitchen (well it was a table with a load of soup for homeless people, in the doorway of superdrug in cardiff)
As we passed it I turned to this guy and said 'man, that soup smells really nice. The next thing i heard was 'oi what the fuck did you just say about us? We cant help it if we are homeless you cunt. I will fucking batter you'.
I turned around to see this huge, menacing looking guy walking towards me. To be honest I was quite pissed off at the accusation so I went straight on the offensive. I walked to him and said in an angry voice 'what. i have got more respect for you than that mate. I said the soup smells very nice. I never said anything nasty at all'
He looked me up and down and apologised and said he must have misheard me. I shook his hand (my bottle had nearly vanished at this stage)...and I walked off!
The guy i was with was well impressed. he told everyone in work how i stood my ground and didnt back down from this huge lunatic!! I think i may have even got a shag or two out of that from girls who saw me as some sort of rebel!!
a quality city!!!