I wake up in my dream, in my bed, and it's dark. I fancy a wank, so I go right ahead. Quietly pleasuring myself, I hear a rustle next to me in the bed, and lo and behold, it's David Gower.
Now I'm feeling weird. So I start scratching "it" in the hope he'll think that's what I was doing before and I'll save myself the embarressment.
On a 1-10 scale, how warped is this?