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Relationships and friends.

Ceraaa [Edit] [Delete] 108 replies 16:26, 13 December '06

A friend of mine is in a relationship but happily kisses people ("No tongues!") as a platonic sign of affection.

I personally think a hug is fine, holding hands CAN be in certain cases, kissing on the cheek/forehead is tolerable, but anything more is just a bit out of order.

Am I just ridiculously [can't think of the word]?

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  • No

    a hug is fine. Maybe a pat on the bum

    devonmalcolm | 13 Dec '06, 16:27 | X
  • Tongue rape is not to be encouraged

    ...

    Rose-Kitten | 13 Dec '06, 16:28 | X
    • He already said, no tongues.

      John_Brainlove @Rose-Kitten | 13 Dec '06, 16:34 | X
      • He?

        Dalkin @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:35 | X
        • is it a girl?

          John_Brainlove @Dalkin | 13 Dec '06, 16:43 | X
          • Ceraaa?

            Yes, certainly

            Dalkin @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:56 | X
          • where are your detective skills?

            there are candles on her profile pic.

            CANDLES!

            keiths_tele @John_Brainlove | 14 Dec '06, 12:18 | X
      • It was a Rose-Kitten 'statement'

        Rose-Kitten @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:42 | X
      • He???

        Johnny_Cashew @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 17:24 | X
      • One of the best things about DiS.

        Sex mistakes.

        wrightylew @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 17:26 | X
        • you were obviously a...

          'sex mistake'!

          marcofella @wrightylew | 13 Dec '06, 18:20 | X
          • FUck YOU

            d

            wrightylew @marcofella | 13 Dec '06, 19:01 | X
            • I'd say fuck you back,

              but your mother probably already has... literally!

              marcofella @wrightylew | 13 Dec '06, 21:40 | X
  • I kiss friends on the LIPS

    they like it. Ask Fishplums

    yo_soy_welshmun | 13 Dec '06, 16:29 | X
    • fishplums took advantage of me when i was unconscious

      klaire @yo_soy_welshmun | 13 Dec '06, 16:35 | X
      • i shared a room with him for four days

        i thought all he did was snore, now i'm worried.
        :'(

        guntrip @klaire | 13 Dec '06, 16:37 | X
        • put it this way

          that wasn't milk in your anus

          klaire @guntrip | 13 Dec '06, 16:40 | X
  • Yes.

    John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:29 | X
  • Kissing on the cheek is fine

    in moderation.
    As is hugging etc....

    I wouldn't kiss someone on the lips unless I fancied them

    cunt | 13 Dec '06, 16:30 | X
  • i kissed jasminpearson!!!!!!!

    klaire | 13 Dec '06, 16:36 | X
    • Thats different

      cause it's hot

      cunt @klaire | 13 Dec '06, 16:37 | X
    • hott.

      got pix lol

      guntrip @klaire | 13 Dec '06, 16:37 | X
    • get your hands off my bird you fancy tartlette

      John_Brainlove @klaire | 13 Dec '06, 16:45 | X
  • In some circumstances lips may be brushed

    But generally, the cheek is enough.

    fionapinkstars | 13 Dec '06, 16:39 | X
    • But why?!

      I just don't see what it will achieve apart from people getting majorly pissed off.

      Ceraaa @fionapinkstars | 13 Dec '06, 16:40 | X
      • Because I want to?

        fionapinkstars @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:41 | X
        • I didn't mean it accusatorily (Or whatever the word it)

          I just wondered why people would do it. It confuses me.

          Ceraaa @fionapinkstars | 13 Dec '06, 16:42 | X
          • Because it feels right.

            I don't know. Why do people do anything?

            fionapinkstars @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:43 | X
            • Basically, I hate the idea

              that there is a black and white of what is wrong and right when you're in a relationship. I firmly believe it goes against human nature.

              fionapinkstars @fionapinkstars | 13 Dec '06, 16:44 | X
              • I agree to an extent

                but i suppose part of me wants tome things to be "special". I have no idea. I'm probably just young and naive, or some such excuse.

                Ceraaa @fionapinkstars | 13 Dec '06, 16:50 | X
          • erm...

            it's a nice way to greet your friends.

            It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

            bobbygeorge @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:44 | X
            • you've never

              kissed me on the lips

              devonmalcolm @bobbygeorge | 13 Dec '06, 16:45 | X
            • I kiss friends on the lips or cheek

              depending what they feel more comfortable with.

              Hannah82 @bobbygeorge | 13 Dec '06, 16:45 | X
              • well

                I'm referring to a kiss on the cheek. I don't tend to kiss on the lips, EVER. Even with girls who make me feel funny.

                bobbygeorge @Hannah82 | 13 Dec '06, 16:54 | X
                • Don't do it.

                  You'll get cooties.

                  homesick_alien @bobbygeorge | 13 Dec '06, 16:58 | X
                  • I'd kiss you on the lips

                    cooties or no cooties.

                    bobbygeorge @homesick_alien | 13 Dec '06, 17:03 | X
                    • Hahahahhahaha

                      I tend to hug everyone!
                      Kisses are well when other initiate them actually.
                      Apart from with rapscalion when I make an effort to kiss him!

                      Hannah82 @bobbygeorge | 13 Dec '06, 17:13 | X
          • it's up to the person or whatever

            i met a guy the other day and he kissed me on the cheek to greet me. it startled me slightly as most people hug me or just say hi (i guess i smell pretty bad) and plus we aren't really close friends, we had only met once or twice before

            klaire @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:45 | X
      • It depends on how close a friend, though, shirley?

        yo_soy_welshmun @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:42 | X
        • Perhaps.

          I think i was just brought up with the "Kissing is something people in romantic relationships do" attitude to things. Even the closest of my friends i wouldn't kiss on the lips. Regardless of age, gender, whatever.

          Ceraaa @yo_soy_welshmun | 13 Dec '06, 16:44 | X
          • If it is someone I haven't seen in ages

            they're getting a kiss, a hug and possibly going to be fondled inappropriately

            yo_soy_welshmun @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:46 | X
          • It's not a big deal.

            In fact, it seems a little puritanical.

            John_Brainlove @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:47 | X
            • For the record, are we talking a quick MWAH

              or like 2 seconds plus of lip contact?

              John_Brainlove @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:50 | X
              • 2+ seconds, really.

                A quick MWAH doesn't bother me as such. Although I pretty much don't engage in either with people I don't intend to kiss "properly" at a later date.

                Ceraaa @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:53 | X
                • So how long would this person kiss a friend for.

                  John_Brainlove @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:53 | X
                  • We'll call him "Bob".

                    Bob happily kisses girls for upwards of 10 seconds at a time. Even his best friends girlfriend, when he knows that his best friend is a rather jealous person.

                    (^ The event which inspired this post, really)

                    Ceraaa @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:55 | X
                    • Oh, well then yeah, tell him to stop it

                      That's totally obviously sexual and if he says it isn't he's lying.

                      John_Brainlove @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 16:57 | X
                      • I told him to stop it.

                        And a big, messy, eruptive argument followed. It was more than a little shit.

                        Ceraaa @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 16:58 | X
                        • If it's making you unhappy

                          then he should stop it. Expressing your unhappiness to him is fine - honesty about this kind of thing is important. If kissing other people in front of you, including your friends, is more important to him that upsetting you, even after you've explained this to him, then maybe it isn't going to work. Maybe he wants to fool around, maybe he wants something more permissive, maybe that doesn't match with what you want. It happens.

                          John_Brainlove @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 17:06 | X
                          • He's not my boyfriend.

                            Just a rather close friend. But he is not taking anyone elses feelings into consideration and it's upsetting his best friend (also a dear friend of mine) which is making me COMPLETELY pissed off. So my quiet bit of advice got twisted out of proportion and it got ugly.

                            Ceraaa @John_Brainlove | 13 Dec '06, 17:09 | X
                            • He sounds very pervy

                              Punch him or push him off next time... He'll get the picture.
                              It seems to me that you are all LETTING him do this! Physical violence in this instance, should surely help?

                              *nb i do not condone violence in any form, really, except in self defence ie life and death situations... or protecting yourself from harm ie strangers on streets attacking and so on................

                              Rose-Kitten @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 17:18 | X
                              • Well the girl doesn't object.

                                And will not stop for her boyfriends sake. It's a bit sad, and i think now that this situation has lost me Bob as a friend, i give in. I am keeping schtum.

                                Ceraaa @Rose-Kitten | 13 Dec '06, 17:20 | X
                    • Just to clarify

                      this 'Bob' isn't me.

                      bobbygeorge @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 17:03 | X
                      • Bob isn't the bob that animalbread knows either.

                        I need to come up with more simple pseudonyms.

                        Ceraaa @bobbygeorge | 13 Dec '06, 17:05 | X
                        • cWACKEEM!

                          John_Brainlove @Ceraaa | 13 Dec '06, 17:07 | X
  • I

    would definitely draw the line at kissing. I would be fine with bumming, though

    Judge_B | 13 Dec '06, 16:47 | X
    • you and Monkeynuts

      had a bumming sesh earlier didn't you.

      doubtful @Judge_B | 13 Dec '06, 16:51 | X
      • It

        was only as friends, so that doesn't really count

        Judge_B @doubtful | 13 Dec '06, 16:53 | X
        • Yeah ok then

          if you say so. Where is the relevant cat?

          doubtful @Judge_B | 13 Dec '06, 17:16 | X
  • it's kind of odd

    but if they don't mean anything by it, then i suppose it's ok. so long as the kiss receiver doesn't get the wrong impression

    Johnny_Cashew | 13 Dec '06, 17:26 | X
    • or tires to stick a bit of tongue in!

      i had that happen to me one new years eve, caught me off guard!

      mouldycherryx @Johnny_Cashew | 13 Dec '06, 17:49 | X
  • I hug people

    and kiss my close friends on the cheek.

    I have also been known to indulge in a bit of drunken snogging with certain girly friends, I wouldn't do this if my boyfriend didn't approve though.

    I think lip kissing should be saved for your man/woman.

    mouldycherryx | 13 Dec '06, 17:29 | X
  • I kiss my really close female friends

    on the lips, but it's not a kiss like I would give a girlfriend. They are a quick MWAH! kiss when I havn't seen them for ages.

    Dalkin | 13 Dec '06, 17:35 | X
    • Will you kiss me on the lips

      at Send More Paramedics tomorrow even though I'm not a girl?

      commandercool @Dalkin | 13 Dec '06, 18:22 | X
      • faggot

        marcofella @commandercool | 13 Dec '06, 18:24 | X
      • Maybe...

        Dalkin @commandercool | 13 Dec '06, 18:36 | X
        • You're going to see send more paramedics?

          Have i gotten our plans completely screwed up?

          Oh jeeves. Now I'm locked out of my house until 8. :(

          Ceraaa @Dalkin | 14 Dec '06, 09:56 | X
  • I think it all depends on the situation

    A kiss on the lips could be completely innocent, but also could be just as easily construed as being something more than plutonic. I think it also depends on whether it's out of character for the person to do it, or whether that's how they would normally greet people, and think nothing of it. Their partner will know whether it's unlike them (and thus more suspicious) to kiss friends.

    When i say a kiss on the lips i mean a quick MWAH not..KIIISSSS.

    But yeah, like fionapinkstars said, i don't think you can set in stone a generic set of rules for all relationships of what is 'acceptable' or not so. I don't think it necessarily takes a physical action, like a kiss or otherwise, to deem someone as being out of order. A 'plutonic' relationship could be as upsetting to the person in question's other-half as being cheated on physically - they're still sharing an intimacy that you may want to keep between the two of you which has been shared.

    Haha i sound like a bad womenseseseses magazine.

    (ps. this is not the story of my lovelife)

    junkstaposition | 13 Dec '06, 18:31 | X
    • "A 'plutonic' relationship"?

      I'd never go out with a Plutonian; they are not from a proper planet, they are from a dwarf planet.

      Mr_JDTraynor @junkstaposition | 13 Dec '06, 21:33 | X
      • racist

        rapscalion-jones @Mr_JDTraynor | 13 Dec '06, 21:43 | X
  • Hannah always kisses me on the lips

    I think it's because she fancies me.

    commandercool | 13 Dec '06, 18:32 | X
    • i do

      rapscalion-jones @commandercool | 13 Dec '06, 21:43 | X
      • I DO TOO !

        LOLZ !!!

        Hannah82 @rapscalion-jones | 14 Dec '06, 00:20 | X
  • It's a bit childlike

    Surely, any romantic behaviour should occur only between people who are shagging.

    Mr_JDTraynor | 13 Dec '06, 18:54 | X
    • What if you're not shagging

      but want to be?

      _antilovesong @Mr_JDTraynor | 13 Dec '06, 18:56 | X
      • Sorry

        No kissing until after penetration.

        commandercool @_antilovesong | 13 Dec '06, 18:57 | X
        • LIKE IN SPACED.

          _antilovesong @commandercool | 13 Dec '06, 18:58 | X
          • :D

            commandercool @_antilovesong | 13 Dec '06, 18:58 | X
            • "what... you had sex before you kissed?"

              *shit*

              Mortgage_Boy @commandercool | 13 Dec '06, 19:32 | X
      • Well, obviously, then that's normal, obviously

        Mr_JDTraynor @_antilovesong | 13 Dec '06, 18:57 | X
    • hahahahahaha!

      Surely, any romantic behaviour should occur only between people who are shagging.

      mouldycherryx @Mr_JDTraynor | 13 Dec '06, 18:57 | X
      • I agree

        with junkybabez

        although i can't see many situations where kissing on the lips or anywhere really would be normal behaviour, unless you're french, but if you're going out with a frenchie there is no hope anyway.

        elainepaige @mouldycherryx | 13 Dec '06, 21:30 | X
    • completely disagree

      the more romantic behaviour, the better.

      ex_cynic @Mr_JDTraynor | 13 Dec '06, 21:36 | X
  • i used to be like that,

    but got told it was wrong.

    So stopped.

    Thankyou for your time.

    thommo | 13 Dec '06, 21:37 | X
    • who told you?

      it makes all the difference

      ex_cynic @thommo | 13 Dec '06, 21:45 | X
      • The people

        i was doing it too.

        Relatedly, i think crablin got a few complaints that my messages were too personal or something. i never really did find out what that was about.

        thommo @ex_cynic | 13 Dec '06, 21:49 | X
        • :-(

          ouch. i should be in trouble now then after last night's fetish-inspired note-sending hi-jinx

          ex_cynic @thommo | 13 Dec '06, 21:51 | X
          • LOLin

            i think people wouldn't have taken you that seriously.

            thommo @ex_cynic | 13 Dec '06, 21:57 | X
            • no it's fine

              it was consensual

              ex_cynic @thommo | 13 Dec '06, 22:11 | X
        • If people thought your notes were too personal shouldnt they just tell you?

          mouldycherryx @thommo | 13 Dec '06, 21:55 | X
          • i'd like to have thought so

            he might just have objected to all the physical contact i afforded him in the Barfly and said it was "his readers".

            thommo @mouldycherryx | 13 Dec '06, 21:57 | X
  • I don't have a girlfriend ;'[

    It makes me sad.

    Marlvrum | 13 Dec '06, 23:41 | X
    • try having a girlfriend

      it'll make you depressed

      Anschul @Marlvrum | 13 Dec '06, 23:46 | X
      • what about teh sex ;'[ ?

        Marlvrum @Anschul | 13 Dec '06, 23:53 | X
        • so just get a fuck

          klaire @Marlvrum | 13 Dec '06, 23:54 | X
          • r u offerin?

            Marlvrum @klaire | 14 Dec '06, 00:06 | X
        • are you some sort of chimera

          composed of marlowx and Elvrum?

          ex_cynic @Marlvrum | 14 Dec '06, 00:02 | X
          • Marlowx? No.

            Marlvrum @ex_cynic | 14 Dec '06, 00:07 | X
          • chimera scared the shit out of me

            when i was a child

            sharp_yet_blunt @ex_cynic | 14 Dec '06, 00:09 | X
      • this

        klaire @Anschul | 13 Dec '06, 23:54 | X
  • i only kiss people

    i fancy on the lips. friends = (face) cheeks or nose only

    pretty_vacant | 14 Dec '06, 00:23 | X
    • you kissed me on the lips !

      !

      rapscalion-jones @pretty_vacant | 14 Dec '06, 00:23 | X
      • i did not!

        when? i think you're mistaking me for tristan.

        pretty_vacant @rapscalion-jones | 14 Dec '06, 00:29 | X
        • you kissed me with your cheek

          :)

          rapscalion-jones @pretty_vacant | 14 Dec '06, 00:30 | X
          • (face)

            pretty_vacant @rapscalion-jones | 14 Dec '06, 00:32 | X
            • WORD

              rapscalion-jones @pretty_vacant | 14 Dec '06, 00:32 | X
  • when girls kiss me on the mouth

    I get mildly worried. But I frequently hit up a cheek or two. It's only polite.

    lemonbrickcombo | 14 Dec '06, 00:27 | X
  • i dunno

    i have a really good friend who has kissed me on the lips as a greeting but its definitely not a normal thing, i just happened to be really close to her which meant it wasnt misconstrued(sp?) as a sign of attraction or whatever, but if anyone else was to do it i would find it a little too friendly

    sharp_yet_blunt | 14 Dec '06, 01:21 | X
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