Is it possible to be "100 per cent English"? Does it involve genes, incomprehensible graphs or merely an innate appreciation of inappropriate summer clothing and glazed pork pies? Bamboozled by the issue, Andrew Graham-Dixon strides off on a search for "the true origins of the English". Collaring eight subjects who believe themselves to be wholly English - including Carol Thatcher, Garry Bushell and a woman who works in the fishing industry - the raffish journalist then subjects them to extensive DNA analysis in the hope that their faces will crumble like meringues when it's revealed that their ancestors actually came from Turkey. But although the test results are indeed surprising, the reactions of some of the less tolerant subjects may have you punching the sofa in frustration.