Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
what do you drink before a school dance?
A man walks into a bar, and says "OUCH"
down the street.
One says to the other one "It's cold today".
The other one says "Yeah I know. I've just washed my socks."
who told it me!
probably that drunk i strung two jokes together!
the randomness of that was so funny. what do carrots smell like, anyway?
and suddenly the back opens and the coffin falls out and starts sliding down the street. The driver panics, gets out and runs to the chemists next to the vehicle to see if they can help. He runs to the counter and after getting his breath back says "have you got anything to stop this coffin?"
do you play at roughly 2200 hours ??
ten-ish (say it out loud)
Is this racist? I don't know.
he IS brown. his skin is brown. it's a description and is not in the least derogatory.
but still, it's not funny, because, yeah, it's only a description.
A kick in the balls
that truely is poor taste...but i challenge with...what do you call a retarded chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong
Butch Cuttlefish and the Sundance Squid.
Not remotely funny imo.
that is so wrong but I laughed so much.
Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
whats the difference between an iraqi terrorist and george michael?
george michael doesnt wait two weeks before taking a guys head.
Why doesn't the elephant want to go to the zoo?
Because he prefers the cinema.
'elephant' with anything or anybody who is animate.
no one wants to go to the zoo.
What's the main cause of paedophilia in the uk today?
Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?
Because he was tired of Hall and Oates.
Stephen Hawking in a housefire
A BIG EGG!
that i was about to post that very same thing?
cursed armando ianucci.
that joke is great though.
the shittest one ever is that one that goes on for ages about the guy and the rude clown as they grow up
can't be bothered to get into all that business now.
a lady (let's make her a sexy lady) is in the bath and she gets a knock on the door.
'Who is it?' she shouts.
'A poor man' comes the reply. 'Please give me some money for I am poor'.
So the lady puts on her robe and gives the man some change, and gets back in the bath. And then there is another knock at the door.
'A deaf man' comes the reply. I dont know how he hears her though. 'I'm collecting for other deaf people and stuff'
'WHO IS IT NOW?!!'
'Please miss, it's a blind man.'
So she thinks, 'fuck it then', and walks down stark naked, and opens the door...
'CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME VENETIAN BLINDS'
but it had a naked lady.
then i got it!
cause 7 8 9 !