Dear Train people,
Now I know you have the Oylmpics in the East End and therefore you're spending lotsa wedge on the tranport links but today the train I was waiting for 'disappeared' - no delay or anything, it just 'vanished' before it got to my train stop - my main concern now is for the families of the people on this train when it suddenly just 'vanished' like a non-person in 1984. However, thank you for letting me catch the next train so I can spend 20 minutes of being nose to nose with a hideous australian face and a lovingly handpicked ambient backing track of people threatening each other and pushing people off at each trainstop, thus transforming the whole sorry experience into something Hogarth would have wryly recorded had trains been around in the 18th Century.
Seriously anyone coming to London who thinks its like 2345AM compared to anywhere else should move to Swindon instead. Contemptable.