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I've just called my work and told them i'm not coming in due to these.
Does it sound like i am suicidal
cos i'm not.
your having problems with your love pump
think I would assume that you had caught your chopper in the vaccuum cleaner
otherwise we cannot judge
a liar or have impotence problems.
you need to think of a none essential family member to kill off.
''I'm claiming I have family issues but I dont, I just cant be bothered to come in, and if I make things sound bad, you'll feel bad for trying to work out why the real reason is''
that the word I was looking for!
speculating about your STI status.
It is a bit of a cop out, are you going to tell them some kind of better story when you return?
you're Marcus Trescothick.
It sounds like you're going to be fired for "personal problems".
everyone knows your sciving when you say that
'Personnel Problems' and think your Ironing lady didn't turn up to press your work trousers or that your secretary forgot to pencil your shift into your diary.
'your' in that post
and decide that the mountain goats have finally got to you...
I didn't want to go in.
In a bizarre twist, a REAL problem did occur later though. So my conscience is clean. ish.
when you're on the receiving end...
of them taking a swab from the inside of your penis, to be brutally frank.
if you'd ever seen my penis?
i didn't think you were THAT drunk..
That wasn't *my* penis, I can tell you that for nothing.
sounds like you like to think you're skiving but you actually are depressed to some extent and can't face going in, so it's not really a lie.
is a wee bit dangerous, especially if used more than once.
An employer who closely monitors these things will start to think 'unreliable', 'possible wacko' 'is there some way we can cut this guy loose?'
I'm leaving soon.
I don't really give a fuck.
do you realise this?