Killing time sitting round the campfire at Leeds was made absolutely hilarious by this. Its one of the only things which when quoted makes me LOL.
"An eight year-old child however somehow sneaked on board, and is trapped, in space, with Cook, the paedophile. NASA have issued a statement saying 'This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.'
"Security footage from Sheffield shows a paedophile disguised as a school. Have you seen him. Do you know him? Call us. - Yes, we must catch him. This man really is a shit."
"Paedophiles have more in common with a crab, genetically, than with you or me. And THAT is scientific fact."
"We're. ALL. a. Bunch. of fuckwits."