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HOW?? IT'S LIKE A FUCKING BRICK, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I thought this was going to be some kind of zen koan. I was getting ready to achieve enlightenment.
What do you write on it with?
you don't fucking write on it
colouring book ..
Have you checked up your arse?
"WHERE'S MY BOOK?!"
not with your tongue and your mum's finger up there
but i found my book now
it was up my arse. the one i keep on the building site. and it was an 800-page colouring-in notebook. weird, huh!?
When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through the repitition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.
Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.
"The founder of our sect," boasted the priest, "had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?"
Bankei replied lightly: "Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink."
[nods in reverent contemplation]