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i only know a couple of peoples' views on this. so, is it ever right to smack a child?
or looked at you funny
i usually just come in their face
if you raise your child correctly in the first place then you wouldn't need to.
if they hit you first then its self defense
An open handed smack o nthe bum if a kid is being extremely disobiedient and can't be reasoned with.
smacked me, like on the hand or back of the legs, but not all time just when I had done something really bad. I guess it worked as I have never stuck my hand in the fire or opened the car door in the lion enclosure of a safari park since.
smacking you in addition to that pain is just taking the piss.
that would have just been very mean.
and a woman was having a mock boxing match with her kid, and it occurred to me that that cant be desperately healthy. just: hey! lets have a fight!
'unhealthy'? that sounds good to me. fun.
but generally as a teaching method it's pretty barbaric.
It's not as if you're punching it in the face though? A smack on the arse is fine if it's being a right twat.
My Dad didn't, he'd just walk into the room and I'd start crying.
That sounds bad, doesn't it? They are nice really, honest
"My Dad didn't, he'd just walk into the room and I'd start crying."
Hahaha...pretty much the same with me.
My Dad is lovely and we are best of friends. But as a kid, if I'd been naughty, he'd just have to look at me and I'd be off upstairs to change my underpants.
My mum would be more inclined to smack me. It never really hurt, but the fact I'd been punished was upsetting.
on one hand, i can see how it does help with disclipline.
on the other, i really think a lot of the problems in society (and human nature in general) are down to violence, and really is there any "right" form of violence?
You wouldn't hit your friend, so why hit a child? Equally, if a child is brought up in an enviroment where it's parents think it's acceptable to smack their children, then I think they're more likely to think that's acceptable behaviour in future life.
Plus, it surely only ever encourages fear and resentment.
Having said this however, I do think it can be appropiate to, grab a child roughly to stop it doing something, or hit their hand away from something in a dangerous situation where talking/shouting isn't going to do any good.
I'm not a huge fan of punishment as an idea generally, especially with small children (and animals) they don't grasp the concept unless it's an immediate response to their act and is incredibly consistent.
it's still controlling someone's behaviour with violence though.
don't have the same perception of violence that adults.
Some babies bite but it's an act of love for them. Pain isn't feeled the same way.
But I'm talking for very young kids.
children and friends are very different...
But still people who deserve respect.
I think the rest of my reasons are perhaps more important.
Its not like children are people or anything.
In a way, not that I would smack my kids (if I have any) it can actually be better than shouting at them or whatever. Shouting at a kid constantly when it does things wrong is surely more psychologically damaging than the occasional little smack...
As long as it's not done in a "making them scared of the parent" way I don't completely object to it being used (as a last resort though)
There's plenty of kids I see who I would happily punch in the face. Like that kid on Richard and Judy the other day whose mum wrote that "kids are boring article" He have deserved it.
my friend's mum was forced to play an instrument from an early age. she hated it, so never made my friend play one. he desperately wishes he could play the piano or something like that. so he's going to force his kid to play something.
and so on and so on.
i've never been in a fight, and even the thought of hitting someone in the face can reduce me to tears.
somebody's "closeness" to their immediate family is the biggest and most obvious aetiological factor for most young criminals...
I plagerised you...which is probably a smackable offence.
In my teenage years I was 100% anti-smacking under any circumstances. Now I'm not so sure, although I still don't think I could ever do it (difficult to say that with no experience, obviously).
It's clear to me what the damaging effects of it are when it's regularly employed. There are LOTS of people out there - more than you might think as it's seldom covered by the media - who assault their kids when they lose their temper with them. As far as I'm concerned we shouldn't tolerate this at all. Smacking should not be used where any other form of non-violent punishment could be used - especially not because of a personal gripe, where it becomes acceptable simply because they're your kids, and therefore your actions won't be frowned upon.
On the other hand, I can see that physical punishment is appropriate where a child is putting themselves or others in immediate danger, where it may be the only effective "last resort".
I don't know. I haven't really convinced myself - I still think it should be an offence. If there was a clear, appropriate defence available for cases in which force was used legitimately then it would be okay.
I think what we need above all is better education for prospective parents.
what is violence going to teach a human who can already walk and talk and understand verbal commands?
and I don't think it has harmed me but I won't smack my children (if/when I have any). I just think there are better ways of disciplining children. I don't think it's fair that a grown person should intentionally physically harm a child.
Thinking about it, it's a very tricky question. I have seen parents in the supermarket smack their children and think that I wouldn't do it but it's difficult to say until you are a parent yourself. I'll let you know, when I have children.
I'll probably find out I'm infertile now.
Lunchtime today, I was in Sainsburys buying a sandwich and I heard a woman refer to her son (who was no more than about 7) as a 'faggot'. That's really not on, is it?
I often hear parents swearing at their children and it infuriates me.
but if they understand words, why make them try and understand violence?
even now it confuses/frightens me.
so, as soon as they can learn what the word 'wrong' means, hit them as a demonstration technique? nuh uh.
he seemed more threatening. The threat of violence is far more scary than violence quite often.
if meatheads were intelligent enough to sit down, talk through and resolve their problems with one another without the need for pool cues and knives, then obviously society would be a lot better.
just as teaching someone right from wrong without straying into the wrong yourself would be better than being a hypocrite.
are you going to teach them it's wrong to be violent with an act of violence?
Discipline is about not having to smack someone. At that point you've lost.
I think there's always a really really bad feeling in the air when a parent has to smack their child. Everyone senses it.
There aren't really ways to keep a child under control that aren't going to shape how it perceives things in the future, though.
As long as your brood doesn't end up as whiney as the Breakfast Club you're probably doing okay, though.
that woman is a goddess.
He doesn't smoke. But then nor do I. :D
my mum didn't pummel me until i was unconscious or anything. just a firm smack. this was probably about twice though. most of the time my mum would just look disappointed if i'd done anything wrong, and that would make me feel bad enough.
and then she'd tell my nanna and grandad and then even more people stood around looking disappointed at me. this is why i was fairly well behaved.
i still get a lot of disappointed looks from people though.
"The psycological effect of being punished should stay with them longer than the physical"
Extremely well put.
Here, have a shiny penny! :o)