I think I have found a home for one of my weekend one tickets, which means that I have just one left! I would like to give this ticket to a good home. We are a group of 12 (including you) dance junkies from across the globe, and to the right person, I am willing to part with the ticket for the bargain price of 100 GBP.
Grumpy hipsters or drunken baffoons are not what we are looking for. Fun people who look forward to bloody marys and early morning dance parties are more our type.
If you were on the fence before, then lord knows you can't pass up such an amazing offer. Get off your ass and get down to Pontins, you wont regret it!