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Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

Jordan_229_2 [Edit] [Delete] 68 replies 23:17, 24 June '13

and said
''you know that whole log cabin stuff? its bollocks i made it up. soz''.

I'd mark.

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haunting me, haunting meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

shucks | 24 Jun '13, 23:20 | X

alcxxk this'd this
- he was just in a regular studio and living in an apartment nearby
  
  Jordan_229_2 @shucks | 24 Jun '13, 23:27 | X
YEAH

I RECORDED IN A BIG MANSION MADE OUT OF MONEY WHICH WAS BUILT BY ALL YOUR DADS AND I DIDNT EVEN PAY THEM NOT EVEN EXPENSES AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND IT IS PRONOUNCED BON EYEVER I JUST SAID IT WASNT TO MESS WITH YOU ALL PEACE OUT DICKHEEAAADSS

mic drop

mute-branches | 24 Jun '13, 23:30 | X

bastard_of_the_north and furio this'd this
'And my real name isn't even 'Bon''

bornin69 | 24 Jun '13, 23:35 | X
- its Mike Smith
  
  Jordan_229_2 @bornin69 | 24 Jun '13, 23:42 | X
  - * Skinner
    
    and I'm very versatile
    
    mute-branches @Jordan_229_2 | 25 Jun '13, 00:04 | X
he can't be having us all on

he's so sincere
so authentic

anal_schwarzenegger | 24 Jun '13, 23:41 | X
just how many untrues do we need on dis?

Icarus-Smicarus | 25 Jun '13, 00:03 | X

JaguarPirate, monoshono, OvertakenByTractors, and Puds this'd this
- imagine if everyone on dis
  
  started posting in the style of untrue
  
  anal_schwarzenegger @Icarus-Smicarus | 25 Jun '13, 00:07 | X
  
  monoshono this'd this
  - i'm not sure why it has been deemed his style
    
    Jordan_229_2 @anal_schwarzenegger | 25 Jun '13, 00:08 | X
  - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b5aW08ivHU
    
    mute-branches @anal_schwarzenegger | 25 Jun '13, 00:15 | X
    
    furio this'd this
    - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXBwt-Z6Jn4
      
      Jordan_229_2 @mute-branches | 25 Jun '13, 00:17 | X
- was so sure it was going to be him
  
  JaguarPirate @Icarus-Smicarus | 25 Jun '13, 00:44 | X
Imagine if his ex lover wasn'y even skinny.

OllieH | 26 Jun '13, 10:41 | X

ourbenightedstate this'd this
hahaha just thinking at work

if at a gig he said ''i'm going to do a cover now, hope y'all don't mind''.

Launches into Valerie by The Zutons

Jordan_229_2 | 26 Jun '13, 13:48 | X
- *She's So Lovely by Scouting For Girls
  
  colon_closed_bracket @Jordan_229_2 | 26 Jun '13, 14:05 | X
  - I LOVE that choon!
    
    OllieH @colon_closed_bracket | 27 Jun '13, 11:49 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

and just starting Iving some Bons

mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 13:51 | X
- *bonbonbonbons
  
  Jordan_229_2 @mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 13:52 | X
  
  ourbenightedstate and SCROTUM this'd this
  - Bon Iver had to cancel his tour
    
    because of the bailiffs
    
    mute-branches @Jordan_229_2 | 26 Jun '13, 13:53 | X
- :D
  
  colon_closed_bracket @mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 14:04 | X
imagine if the motherfucker started enunciating properly

colon_closed_bracket | 26 Jun '13, 14:04 | X
"When I said I was in the log cabin, this is what I really meant"

http://www.logcabin.org/

oceanfloor | 26 Jun '13, 14:41 | X
I'd be like THIS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FySvx00cvzw

ehwhat | 26 Jun '13, 15:01 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

and then didn't play because the audience were such a bunch of sell-outs and just mocked them for doing adverts

mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 15:11 | X
just comes on stage and says

'the last track on me last album was a bit naff eh? nevermind'

Jordan_229_2 | 27 Jun '13, 00:50 | X
Wrote an album about my ex kill me now

Jordan_229_2 | 27 Jun '13, 09:57 | X
imagine if bon iver came onstage to a sold out audience

and everyone was like "oh - bon IVER - thought it was bon JOVI! damn." and the crowd started shuffling out slowly.

then he was like "wait, wait - don't go. c'mon, please?" and he never made another record again. thanks, crowd.

theintl | 27 Jun '13, 10:24 | X
- Thowd
  
  Jordan_229_2 @theintl | 27 Jun '13, 10:43 | X
  - ;)
    
    inside-outside @Jordan_229_2 | 24 Dec '13, 09:51 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience...

....and half way through the set, between tracks, you could hear a pin drop, and someone shouts out at the top of their voice in a strong, Westcountry accent: 'ERE, BON, 'URRY UP AND PLAY THAT SKINNY LOVER SO WE CAN ALL FUCK OFF 'OME'.

OllieH | 27 Jun '13, 11:52 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience...

...with cymbals strapped to his knees, a big bass drum strapped to his chest, and a trombone, & shouted "WAHHEEYYYY!"

ThirstyDog | 27 Jun '13, 11:56 | X
- still laughing about this
  
  Jordan_229_2 @ThirstyDog | 16 Jul '13, 14:42 | X
  
  rhubarb this'd this
  - haha
    
    Jordan_229_2 @Jordan_229_2 | 23 Nov '13, 16:11 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

and just started shouting FREEBIRD

anal_schwarzenegger | 27 Jun '13, 12:03 | X

PowerCorruptionNPies this'd this
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

and spent 16 hours yelling death threats towards Birdy and ripping up photographs of her that he'd stolen from her family

mute-branches | 27 Jun '13, 12:45 | X
read on the internet a couple years ago that Jace Lacek of The Besnard Lakes

asked Bon Iver if he fancied a pint and Bon was all like 'sorry i can't i'm working on the follow-up to my critically acclaimed album For Emma, Forever Ago'.

who says things like that?!

Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 12:21 | X
- I probably would if I had done something along the lines of create
  
  a critically acclaimed album like Fore Emma, Forever Ago
  
  Dans @Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 13:11 | X
  - BERYL IVER: Bon Iver! Your dinner's ready!
    
    BON IVER: Hang on, mum! I'm just finishing working on the follow-up to my critically acclaimed album For Emma, Forever Ago!
    
    BERYL IVER: (looking at BRUCE IVER) Heh. So THAT'S what he calls it.
    
    BRUCE IVER: (chuckling) Oh, Beryl.
    
    mute-branches @Dans | 30 Jun '13, 13:41 | X
    
    Wolflikeme and Lo-Pan this'd this
    - (BON IVER and ST. VINCENT are collaborating on their track for the Twilight soundtrack)
      
      ST. VINCENT: I just have to go the toilet now, Bon Iver.
      
      BON IVER: Okay. While you're in there, I'll just get a bit of writing done on my follow-up to my critically acclaimed album For Emma, Forever Ago.
      
      BERYL IVER: (walking past) So how are things going with your little girlfriend?
      
      BON IVER: Godsake mum, we're just collaborating on a track for the Twilight soundtrack. GAWD
      
      BERYL IVER: Oh, OK, son. Just remember to leave the door open, OK?
      
      BON IVER: GAWD
      
      ST. VINCENT: (from the bathroom) H - E - L - P, Help me, cause the toilet doesn't seem to be flushing properly.
      
      BRUCE IVER: Oh, don't worry about it, dear. Little Bon Bon planted a royal steamer in there about a month ago and - I dunno - it seems to have really done a number on the flushing mechanism. I'll sort it out don't ya worry.
      
      BON IVER: (burying his head in his hands) OH GOD SO EMBARRASSING I HATE YOU BOTH
      
      mute-branches @mute-branches | 30 Jun '13, 14:03 | X
      - small rewrite
        
        BRUCE IVER: ... Little Bon Bon planted a royal steamer in there about a month ago... me and Beryl like to call it his little log cabin, ho ho. ... (and so on as normal)
        
        mute-branches @mute-branches | 30 Jun '13, 14:06 | X
        
        bon iver brings friend KANYE WEST home for sunday dinner with the iver family
        
        KANYE WEST: How y'all doing.
        
        BERYL IVER: Is that popular hip-hop artist Jay-Z?
        
        *Bruce Iver looks up from newspaper, adjusts glasses.*
        
        BON IVER: No ma, this is Kanye West.
        
        KANYE WEST: Pleasure to meet you. Friends call me Yeezy.
        
        BRUCE IVER: Yeezy huh?
        
        *Bruce adjusts glasses*
        
        Jordan_229_2 @mute-branches | 30 Jun '13, 14:12 | X
        
        bruce iver looks and acts like tommy lee jones in no country for old men by the way
        
        Jordan_229_2 @Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 14:13 | X
- that can't be real
  
  does he have a learning disability or something? My autistic friend says shit like that.
  
  yuggy @Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 13:52 | X
  - 'read on the internet a couple years ago...'
    
    well that's proof enough for me. probably fair enough to suggest he has learning disabilities too, i guess.
    
    littlebirds @yuggy | 2 Jul '13, 01:30 | X
  - i made it up.
    
    Jordan_229_2 @yuggy | 3 Jul '13, 00:37 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

and spontaneously combusted.

yuggy | 30 Jun '13, 12:23 | X
Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns)

Loui_Tacceh | 2 Jul '13, 01:01 | X
he's a proper idiot

look at him trying to be tough:

''Kanye's a world-famous star, but it's just like working on music with friends: You're trying to do the coolest shit. Just being around motherfuckers who have been doing this for a long time and are getting better''

and then remember that time he called everybody who wants a grammy a sellout while he was doing these: http://www.mtvhive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/BonIverBushmills_640.jpg and then when he won his grammy his "fuck you" speech boiled down to a pathetic "oh this makes me a bit uncomfortable, but thanks so much"

he's actually a lot like kanye but with absolutely none of the charisma.

CrispinAlexander | 3 Jul '13, 01:13 | X
- Pretty much every Vernon quote in that article is embarassing
  
  'Boom! We just made a song, and it bangs, so fuck you.'
  
  'I have no idea what the Jamaican dude is saying. At all.'
  
  'I wouldn't say we had a conversation about feminism, necessarily, but we're sensitive to it.'
  
  'I get along with Kanye really well and I think his musical decisions are exquisite... So when the call came for this album, I was like, 'Shit yeah!''
  
  littlebirds @CrispinAlexander | 3 Jul '13, 11:08 | X
  
  furio this'd this
At wimbledon today aparently

Jordan_229_2 | 3 Jul '13, 21:21 | X
- i also made this up
  
  Jordan_229_2 @Jordan_229_2 | 20 Aug '13, 17:37 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

fat, bald(er), no guitar. pint of ale. Bernard Manning accent. "my fuckin' ex-girlfriend's so skinny right, she..."

bastard_of_the_north | 3 Jul '13, 22:04 | X
best thread title.

no-class | 23 Nov '13, 16:28 | X
Don't think I'll ever understand your humour Jordan

furio | 23 Nov '13, 17:00 | X
- thats fine furio, you seem like a good egg nonetheless x
  
  Jordan_229_2 @furio | 23 Nov '13, 17:01 | X
- Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience
  
  and didn't understand Jordan's humour
  
  mute-branches @furio | 23 Nov '13, 23:40 | X
  
  furio, Comaboy, no-class, and icecreammachine this'd this
will this do?

http://m.gumtree.com/p/other-concert-tickets/volcano-choir-justin-vernon-of-bon-iver-ticket-stalls-j8-great-seats-for-sold-out-gig-/1038490791

funkycow | 23 Nov '13, 23:34 | X
And scored a goal! For all of Africa!

PowerCorruptionNPies | 24 Nov '13, 01:39 | X
imagine if bon iver came onstage to a sold out audience

and sang in a FAAAKE PATOIIIIIS

8stepstoperfection | 23 Dec '13, 22:24 | X
always wonder if phil elverum thinks iver stole his log cabin thunder, wisconsin is softcore compared to arctic norway, I guess not recording dawn until several years later didnt help

ThingsThatFly | 23 Dec '13, 23:30 | X
- imagine if Bon Iver took his shirt off in the yard
  
  mute-branches @ThingsThatFly | 23 Dec '13, 23:49 | X
  - imagine if the skin on bon iver's back was golden
    
    (can someone explain this imagine bon iver thing, ive never got it)
    
    ThingsThatFly @mute-branches | 24 Dec '13, 18:50 | X
imagine if bon iver came out to a sold out audience at christmas

and sat himself down on a stool and ate an entire tescos finest christmas pudding in one sitting

CrispinAlexander | 24 Dec '13, 01:02 | X
- The Bon Iver Christmas Special
  
  mute-branches @CrispinAlexander | 24 Dec '13, 01:13 | X
  - bon appétit
    
    hungover @mute-branches | 24 Dec '13, 09:59 | X
    
    Jordan_229_2 this'd this
imagine if bon iver came onstage to a sold out audience

dressed as Boy George and started reading passages from Mein Kampf in a faux Scottish accent

yuggy | 24 Dec '13, 18:16 | X
Imagine if Bon Iver came out to a sold out audience

And performed John Lennon's 'Imagine', but changed the words to 'Imagine if I came out to / a sold out auuuuudience /Yoo hoo, ooh ooh'

in_limbo | 24 Dec '13, 18:42 | X

yuggy this'd this

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