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I RECORDED IN A BIG MANSION MADE OUT OF MONEY WHICH WAS BUILT BY ALL YOUR DADS AND I DIDNT EVEN PAY THEM NOT EVEN EXPENSES AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND IT IS PRONOUNCED BON EYEVER I JUST SAID IT WASNT TO MESS WITH YOU ALL PEACE OUT DICKHEEAAADSS

mic drop

he's so sincere
so authentic

if at a gig he said ''i'm going to do a cover now, hope y'all don't mind''.

Launches into Valerie by The Zutons

and just starting Iving some Bons

http://www.logcabin.org/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FySvx00cvzw

and then didn't play because the audience were such a bunch of sell-outs and just mocked them for doing adverts

'the last track on me last album was a bit naff eh? nevermind'

and everyone was like "oh - bon IVER - thought it was bon JOVI! damn." and the crowd started shuffling out slowly.

then he was like "wait, wait - don't go. c'mon, please?" and he never made another record again. thanks, crowd.

....and half way through the set, between tracks, you could hear a pin drop, and someone shouts out at the top of their voice in a strong, Westcountry accent: 'ERE, BON, 'URRY UP AND PLAY THAT SKINNY LOVER SO WE CAN ALL FUCK OFF 'OME'.

...with cymbals strapped to his knees, a big bass drum strapped to his chest, and a trombone, & shouted "WAHHEEYYYY!"

and just started shouting FREEBIRD

and spent 16 hours yelling death threats towards Birdy and ripping up photographs of her that he'd stolen from her family

asked Bon Iver if he fancied a pint and Bon was all like 'sorry i can't i'm working on the follow-up to my critically acclaimed album For Emma, Forever Ago'.

who says things like that?!

and spontaneously combusted.

look at him trying to be tough:

''Kanye's a world-famous star, but it's just like working on music with friends: You're trying to do the coolest shit. Just being around motherfuckers who have been doing this for a long time and are getting better''

and then remember that time he called everybody who wants a grammy a sellout while he was doing these: http://www.mtvhive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/BonIverBushmills_640.jpg and then when he won his grammy his "fuck you" speech boiled down to a pathetic "oh this makes me a bit uncomfortable, but thanks so much"

he's actually a lot like kanye but with absolutely none of the charisma.

fat, bald(er), no guitar. pint of ale. Bernard Manning accent. "my fuckin' ex-girlfriend's so skinny right, she..."

http://m.gumtree.com/p/other-concert-tickets/volcano-choir-justin-vernon-of-bon-iver-ticket-stalls-j8-great-seats-for-sold-out-gig-/1038490791

and sang in a FAAAKE PATOIIIIIS

always wonder if phil elverum thinks iver stole his log cabin thunder, wisconsin is softcore compared to arctic norway, I guess not recording dawn until several years later didnt help

and sat himself down on a stool and ate an entire tescos finest christmas pudding in one sitting

dressed as Boy George and started reading passages from Mein Kampf in a faux Scottish accent

And performed John Lennon's 'Imagine', but changed the words to 'Imagine if I came out to / a sold out auuuuudience /Yoo hoo, ooh ooh'