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Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

Jordan_229_2 [Edit] [Delete] 68 replies 23:17, 24 June '13

and said
''you know that whole log cabin stuff? its bollocks i made it up. soz''.

I'd mark.

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  • haunting me, haunting meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    shucks | 24 Jun '13, 23:20 | X
    alcxxk this'd this
    • he was just in a regular studio and living in an apartment nearby

      Jordan_229_2 @shucks | 24 Jun '13, 23:27 | X
  • YEAH

    I RECORDED IN A BIG MANSION MADE OUT OF MONEY WHICH WAS BUILT BY ALL YOUR DADS AND I DIDNT EVEN PAY THEM NOT EVEN EXPENSES AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND IT IS PRONOUNCED BON EYEVER I JUST SAID IT WASNT TO MESS WITH YOU ALL PEACE OUT DICKHEEAAADSS

    mic drop

    mute-branches | 24 Jun '13, 23:30 | X
    bastard_of_the_north and furio this'd this
  • 'And my real name isn't even 'Bon''

    bornin69 | 24 Jun '13, 23:35 | X
    • its Mike Smith

      Jordan_229_2 @bornin69 | 24 Jun '13, 23:42 | X
      • * Skinner

        and I'm very versatile

        mute-branches @Jordan_229_2 | 25 Jun '13, 00:04 | X
  • he can't be having us all on

    he's so sincere
    so authentic

    anal_schwarzenegger | 24 Jun '13, 23:41 | X
  • just how many untrues do we need on dis?

    Icarus-Smicarus | 25 Jun '13, 00:03 | X
    JaguarPirate, monoshono, OvertakenByTractors, and Puds this'd this
    • imagine if everyone on dis

      started posting in the style of untrue

      anal_schwarzenegger @Icarus-Smicarus | 25 Jun '13, 00:07 | X
      monoshono this'd this
      • i'm not sure why it has been deemed his style

        Jordan_229_2 @anal_schwarzenegger | 25 Jun '13, 00:08 | X
      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b5aW08ivHU

        mute-branches @anal_schwarzenegger | 25 Jun '13, 00:15 | X
        furio this'd this
        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXBwt-Z6Jn4

          Jordan_229_2 @mute-branches | 25 Jun '13, 00:17 | X
    • was so sure it was going to be him

      JaguarPirate @Icarus-Smicarus | 25 Jun '13, 00:44 | X
  • Imagine if his ex lover wasn'y even skinny.

    OllieH | 26 Jun '13, 10:41 | X
    ourbenightedstate this'd this
  • hahaha just thinking at work

    if at a gig he said ''i'm going to do a cover now, hope y'all don't mind''.

    Launches into Valerie by The Zutons

    Jordan_229_2 | 26 Jun '13, 13:48 | X
    • *She's So Lovely by Scouting For Girls

      colon_closed_bracket @Jordan_229_2 | 26 Jun '13, 14:05 | X
      • I LOVE that choon!

        OllieH @colon_closed_bracket | 27 Jun '13, 11:49 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    and just starting Iving some Bons

    mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 13:51 | X
    • *bonbonbonbons

      Jordan_229_2 @mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 13:52 | X
      ourbenightedstate and SCROTUM this'd this
      • Bon Iver had to cancel his tour

        because of the bailiffs

        mute-branches @Jordan_229_2 | 26 Jun '13, 13:53 | X
    • :D

      colon_closed_bracket @mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 14:04 | X
  • imagine if the motherfucker started enunciating properly

    colon_closed_bracket | 26 Jun '13, 14:04 | X
  • "When I said I was in the log cabin, this is what I really meant"

    http://www.logcabin.org/

    oceanfloor | 26 Jun '13, 14:41 | X
  • I'd be like THIS

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FySvx00cvzw

    ehwhat | 26 Jun '13, 15:01 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    and then didn't play because the audience were such a bunch of sell-outs and just mocked them for doing adverts

    mute-branches | 26 Jun '13, 15:11 | X
  • just comes on stage and says

    'the last track on me last album was a bit naff eh? nevermind'

    Jordan_229_2 | 27 Jun '13, 00:50 | X
  • Wrote an album about my ex kill me now

    Jordan_229_2 | 27 Jun '13, 09:57 | X
  • imagine if bon iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    and everyone was like "oh - bon IVER - thought it was bon JOVI! damn." and the crowd started shuffling out slowly.

    then he was like "wait, wait - don't go. c'mon, please?" and he never made another record again. thanks, crowd.

    theintl | 27 Jun '13, 10:24 | X
    • Thowd

      Jordan_229_2 @theintl | 27 Jun '13, 10:43 | X
      • ;)

        inside-outside @Jordan_229_2 | 24 Dec '13, 09:51 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience...

    ....and half way through the set, between tracks, you could hear a pin drop, and someone shouts out at the top of their voice in a strong, Westcountry accent: 'ERE, BON, 'URRY UP AND PLAY THAT SKINNY LOVER SO WE CAN ALL FUCK OFF 'OME'.

    OllieH | 27 Jun '13, 11:52 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience...

    ...with cymbals strapped to his knees, a big bass drum strapped to his chest, and a trombone, & shouted "WAHHEEYYYY!"

    ThirstyDog | 27 Jun '13, 11:56 | X
    • still laughing about this

      Jordan_229_2 @ThirstyDog | 16 Jul '13, 14:42 | X
      rhubarb this'd this
      • haha

        Jordan_229_2 @Jordan_229_2 | 23 Nov '13, 16:11 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    and just started shouting FREEBIRD

    anal_schwarzenegger | 27 Jun '13, 12:03 | X
    PowerCorruptionNPies this'd this
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    and spent 16 hours yelling death threats towards Birdy and ripping up photographs of her that he'd stolen from her family

    mute-branches | 27 Jun '13, 12:45 | X
  • read on the internet a couple years ago that Jace Lacek of The Besnard Lakes

    asked Bon Iver if he fancied a pint and Bon was all like 'sorry i can't i'm working on the follow-up to my critically acclaimed album For Emma, Forever Ago'.

    who says things like that?!

    Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 12:21 | X
    • I probably would if I had done something along the lines of create

      a critically acclaimed album like Fore Emma, Forever Ago

      Dans @Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 13:11 | X
      • BERYL IVER: Bon Iver! Your dinner's ready!

        BON IVER: Hang on, mum! I'm just finishing working on the follow-up to my critically acclaimed album For Emma, Forever Ago!

        BERYL IVER: (looking at BRUCE IVER) Heh. So THAT'S what he calls it.

        BRUCE IVER: (chuckling) Oh, Beryl.

        mute-branches @Dans | 30 Jun '13, 13:41 | X
        Wolflikeme and Lo-Pan this'd this
        • (BON IVER and ST. VINCENT are collaborating on their track for the Twilight soundtrack)

          ST. VINCENT: I just have to go the toilet now, Bon Iver.

          BON IVER: Okay. While you're in there, I'll just get a bit of writing done on my follow-up to my critically acclaimed album For Emma, Forever Ago.

          BERYL IVER: (walking past) So how are things going with your little girlfriend?

          BON IVER: Godsake mum, we're just collaborating on a track for the Twilight soundtrack. GAWD

          BERYL IVER: Oh, OK, son. Just remember to leave the door open, OK?

          BON IVER: GAWD

          ST. VINCENT: (from the bathroom) H - E - L - P, Help me, cause the toilet doesn't seem to be flushing properly.

          BRUCE IVER: Oh, don't worry about it, dear. Little Bon Bon planted a royal steamer in there about a month ago and - I dunno - it seems to have really done a number on the flushing mechanism. I'll sort it out don't ya worry.

          BON IVER: (burying his head in his hands) OH GOD SO EMBARRASSING I HATE YOU BOTH

          mute-branches @mute-branches | 30 Jun '13, 14:03 | X
          • small rewrite

            BRUCE IVER: ... Little Bon Bon planted a royal steamer in there about a month ago... me and Beryl like to call it his little log cabin, ho ho. ... (and so on as normal)

            mute-branches @mute-branches | 30 Jun '13, 14:06 | X
            • bon iver brings friend KANYE WEST home for sunday dinner with the iver family

              KANYE WEST: How y'all doing.

              BERYL IVER: Is that popular hip-hop artist Jay-Z?

              *Bruce Iver looks up from newspaper, adjusts glasses.*

              BON IVER: No ma, this is Kanye West.

              KANYE WEST: Pleasure to meet you. Friends call me Yeezy.

              BRUCE IVER: Yeezy huh?

              *Bruce adjusts glasses*

              Jordan_229_2 @mute-branches | 30 Jun '13, 14:12 | X
              • bruce iver looks and acts like tommy lee jones in no country for old men by the way

                Jordan_229_2 @Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 14:13 | X
    • that can't be real

      does he have a learning disability or something? My autistic friend says shit like that.

      yuggy @Jordan_229_2 | 30 Jun '13, 13:52 | X
      • 'read on the internet a couple years ago...'

        well that's proof enough for me. probably fair enough to suggest he has learning disabilities too, i guess.

        littlebirds @yuggy | 2 Jul '13, 01:30 | X
      • i made it up.

        Jordan_229_2 @yuggy | 3 Jul '13, 00:37 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    and spontaneously combusted.

    yuggy | 30 Jun '13, 12:23 | X
  • Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns)

    Loui_Tacceh | 2 Jul '13, 01:01 | X
  • he's a proper idiot

    look at him trying to be tough:

    ''Kanye's a world-famous star, but it's just like working on music with friends: You're trying to do the coolest shit. Just being around motherfuckers who have been doing this for a long time and are getting better''

    and then remember that time he called everybody who wants a grammy a sellout while he was doing these: http://www.mtvhive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/BonIverBushmills_640.jpg and then when he won his grammy his "fuck you" speech boiled down to a pathetic "oh this makes me a bit uncomfortable, but thanks so much"

    he's actually a lot like kanye but with absolutely none of the charisma.

    CrispinAlexander | 3 Jul '13, 01:13 | X
    • Pretty much every Vernon quote in that article is embarassing

      'Boom! We just made a song, and it bangs, so fuck you.'

      'I have no idea what the Jamaican dude is saying. At all.'

      'I wouldn't say we had a conversation about feminism, necessarily, but we're sensitive to it.'

      'I get along with Kanye really well and I think his musical decisions are exquisite... So when the call came for this album, I was like, 'Shit yeah!''

      littlebirds @CrispinAlexander | 3 Jul '13, 11:08 | X
      furio this'd this
  • At wimbledon today aparently

    Jordan_229_2 | 3 Jul '13, 21:21 | X
    • i also made this up

      Jordan_229_2 @Jordan_229_2 | 20 Aug '13, 17:37 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    fat, bald(er), no guitar. pint of ale. Bernard Manning accent. "my fuckin' ex-girlfriend's so skinny right, she..."

    bastard_of_the_north | 3 Jul '13, 22:04 | X
  • best thread title.

    no-class | 23 Nov '13, 16:28 | X
  • Don't think I'll ever understand your humour Jordan

    furio | 23 Nov '13, 17:00 | X
    • thats fine furio, you seem like a good egg nonetheless x

      Jordan_229_2 @furio | 23 Nov '13, 17:01 | X
    • Imagine if Bon Iver came onstage to a sold out audience

      and didn't understand Jordan's humour

      mute-branches @furio | 23 Nov '13, 23:40 | X
      furio, Comaboy, no-class, and icecreammachine this'd this
  • will this do?

    http://m.gumtree.com/p/other-concert-tickets/volcano-choir-justin-vernon-of-bon-iver-ticket-stalls-j8-great-seats-for-sold-out-gig-/1038490791

    funkycow | 23 Nov '13, 23:34 | X
  • And scored a goal! For all of Africa!

    PowerCorruptionNPies | 24 Nov '13, 01:39 | X
  • imagine if bon iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    and sang in a FAAAKE PATOIIIIIS

    8stepstoperfection | 23 Dec '13, 22:24 | X
  • always wonder if phil elverum thinks iver stole his log cabin thunder, wisconsin is softcore compared to arctic norway, I guess not recording dawn until several years later didnt help

    ThingsThatFly | 23 Dec '13, 23:30 | X
    • imagine if Bon Iver took his shirt off in the yard

      mute-branches @ThingsThatFly | 23 Dec '13, 23:49 | X
      • imagine if the skin on bon iver's back was golden

        (can someone explain this imagine bon iver thing, ive never got it)

        ThingsThatFly @mute-branches | 24 Dec '13, 18:50 | X
  • imagine if bon iver came out to a sold out audience at christmas

    and sat himself down on a stool and ate an entire tescos finest christmas pudding in one sitting

    CrispinAlexander | 24 Dec '13, 01:02 | X
    • The Bon Iver Christmas Special

      mute-branches @CrispinAlexander | 24 Dec '13, 01:13 | X
      • bon appétit

        hungover @mute-branches | 24 Dec '13, 09:59 | X
        Jordan_229_2 this'd this
  • imagine if bon iver came onstage to a sold out audience

    dressed as Boy George and started reading passages from Mein Kampf in a faux Scottish accent

    yuggy | 24 Dec '13, 18:16 | X
  • Imagine if Bon Iver came out to a sold out audience

    And performed John Lennon's 'Imagine', but changed the words to 'Imagine if I came out to / a sold out auuuuudience /Yoo hoo, ooh ooh'

    in_limbo | 24 Dec '13, 18:42 | X
    yuggy this'd this
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