Boards

Tool - Band Member injured by a spade incident
Jane's Addiction - Band member tskes one trip too far
Amusementparksonfire - Guitarist injured in freak Big Wheel incident
Anthrax - Opened a parcel by mistake
Bad Religion - Singer killed after Fatwa placed on his head
Battles - Drummer killed on holiday in Afghanistan
The Beloved - No one bought any tickets for the tour
The Cars - Tour cancelled when band involved in Motorway pile up
Whitesnake - David Coverdale crushed by Albino Boa Constrictor
Underworld - Taken out in Gangland drive by.
Thunder - Danny Bowes hit by Lightning
Talk Talk - Mark Hollis injured in car crash whilst on his mobile phone
Revolting C*cks - Al Jourgensen gets a severe STD
Placebo - Brian Molko left ill after taking the wrong medication

Josh Homme cancels tour to help excavate the site of a prehistoric transvestite discovered on his property.

Turned away at customs.

CRAINE: Severe head injury suffered during building site visit.
Pepperment Apes: Band member bludgeoned by monkey in dentists chair after nearby zoo escape by fresh-breathed orangutangs.

Neutral Milk Hotel- refused to stay in the accommodation provided due to lack of variety in the drinks
Arcade Fire- Win Butler spontaneously combusted whilst on the penny pushers

Cancelled due to Yoni Wolf's diagnosis as clinically depressed.

Couldn't be arsed.

Stranded in Hawaii after being placed on "no fly list"

Severe budget cuts on his upcoming tour.

All dates are still going ahead.

RIP

Infection

Satnav took them to the wrong venue

And So I watch You From Afar - locked up for being peeping tom
Explosions In The Sky - plane blew up
Errors - made multiple mistakes

Smashing Pumpkins: Recovering from unprovoked attack last Wednesday

Hypothermia

Drowned

The pacific called him a cunt

Nitrous oxide addiction

Under investigation

The Cars - crashed
Blur - can't see
Wild Beasts - got tamed

Rivers Cuomo's lung cancer

dirty projectors : no backdrop
built to spill : crushed by falling jenga
smog : smog
the blow : gale force winds
darkstar : meteor to collide with earth
wild beasts : caught in a stampede
the hazards of swimming naked : candiru incident
holy fuck : touched by a priest

implicated in a breaking scandal by Philip Schofield this morning.

(i'm sorry, get up kids, i love you)

Stuck on a delayed Metropolitan Line train.

bodies removed by police, thwarting unusual direction system

Italian transit vehicle impounded for Birmingham date.
...

attacked by a chocolate bar-wielding Morrissey

confirmed dates for different promoters on the same night

Botch - Botched
Fucked Up - Fucked Up
Iceage - got cold feet
Killer Mike - convicted
The Walkmen - was further away than they thought
Tom Waits - too long, as it turns out
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - No, no, nos

Childcare commitments

plus / minus - got pulled in the wrong direction
yacht - boating accident
jets to brazil - got on the wrong plane
saves the day - got their dates mixed up
flaming lips - smoking accident
cloud nothings - heavy rain
diagrams - given wrong directions
porcelain raft - lost at sea
pulled apart by horses - freak riding accident

couldn't narrow it down

Hot Chip - Deep Fat fryer related accident
They Might Be Giants - Overactive Pituitry Gland

Lost en route to Aberdeen due to an incomplete map

Metric - Imperial system re-introduced
Moby - Harpooned

Cave-In - Trapped

Power cut.

Hounded out of town

After detailed inspection of their musical output they decided they weren't good enough.

At 2pm followed by reception celebrating his life in pub across road with snacks

Choked

Assaulted

failed.

Diverged

got pasted.

Tennis injury.

Van accidentally collided with another band's.

Stuck on the M25.

(OK, I'm going through the list of (mercifully limited) bands on the PC I'm currently using)

In rehab.

Sorry, you were out. You can arrange a redelivery or collect your item from the sorting office.

Sprained wrists

Double booked

Failed the audition

Tour cancelled due to dispute over a Pokemon card trade.

Mystery Jets - Their plane disappeared over the bermuda triangle

Foo Fighters - their private jet was shot down after being mistaken for a UFO

John Denver...

Had something else on.

Future Islands - Nick Thorburn's time machine broke

Bereavement.

Had undisclosed maritime duties to attend to.

Disastrous midnight feast

Don't ask

Fucked Up ,got ambushed, etc

The drive from the hotel to the venue for their Sarajevo gig was more eventful than they'd anticipated.

Cancelled due to points failure at Hebden Bridge.

Intestinal parasites

Were you really expecting more than a single gig on this tour?

Plastered.

te venues windows were dirty

Johnny Foreigner - visa applications turned down

Ash - using a time machine to play a gig in Pompeii in AD 79 probably wasn't the band's smartest idea.

Organisers changed their mind when they found out there were strings attached.

Work commitments

Emergency dental work required

All got killed by Wolf Gang

Said no.

Knocked over at a zebra crossing

couldn't play live, due to their commitments running a dubiously Sega-centric after-school club.

Lost their sense of hearing -- as well as, less significantly, their senses of taste and smell.

Have set the venue on fire.

Cleaning her oven

Tim's gone into comedy, and Jeremy's gone into current affairs broadcasting. Neither plan to ever talk about their days as an Australian post-grunge band again.

cut from line up.

arrested on suspicion of buglary

allergic reaction causing severe skin rashes

need to rearrange the setlist.

causing some seriously congested queues at a swimming pool in Stoke.

Constant fornication

Can't make it, due to being stuck in a sticky situation involving being surrounded by a pack of dangerous canine acid casualties.

Baggage handlers on strike at CDG

Cost of renting the venue was too "deer". Sorry, I'll get me coat.

Last-minute attack of the wobbles

Incapacitated after an extreme fishing accident

Cancelled due to problems with the stage lighting

Cancelled due to insufficient supply of cups & saucers backstage

Decided that MTV Unplugged probably wasn't a good idea

Too many middlemen involved

Refused to leave the house as Downton Abbey was on

Never intended to do the gig in the first place

Had to stay in & do their homework

Because lets face it, everybody hates them

In court on charges of stalking

Wardrobe malfunction

Nervous breakdown after concrete mixing accident

Exterminated

Left by a radiator overnight, now too warped to play

Too busy meditating

Mobbed and tour bus couldn't get parked

Stuck in detention

Stopped to stop an old lady cross the road, realised they were in Bournemouth and were their all day

Tour bus driver stubbornly refuses to accept they are lost

their mum wouldn't let them.

goes without saying, really.

Should have been right, carpark

It's a secret.

Arrested for illegal potholing

Royal Trux - transport had ideas above its station, band couldn't get there

Electric Six - due to power issues in the Sidcup area, and the band not having any despite what their name suggests...

Bearsuit - forgot stage clothes, turned up naked, still had to be convinced not to play.

400 Blows - cancelled due to promoter only supplying 20 up-for-it groupies.

Had a false start.

Beached.

I'll leave you to work this one out.

Spotted by three of the guards in Metal Gear Solid

Drank a pint of shitmix and passed out.

Stuck on a zipwire in East London park

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS FUCKING GIG, IT'S NOT FAIR I HATE YOU

soundchecks overran horrendously

At the Drive-In: didn't get the McDonalds part of their driver, refused to play until satisfied.

Bitch Magnet: crushed by hysterical women fans.

Chavez: it wasn't possible.

The Paper Chase: playing for a Sheikh's teenage son instead.

Pretty Girls Make Graves: crossed the International Union of Supermodels for the last time.

Ambulance LTD: died at the scene of a traffic accident before paramedics arrived.

Andy Stott: at the birth of his child.

The Hold Steady: key member being tested for Parkinsons.

Handsome Furs: picketed by PETA.

Iron & Wine: being treated for severe burns.

called off to St Louis to investigate who shat on the Kings Of Leon

AIDS Wolf: Bestiality experiment goes horribly wrong.

Had just enough information about a mafia contract on her head to only let her immediate family know the secret route she was taking to the gig... but not enough information to know that her jealous younger sister was behind the whole thing.

Caught by the police.

beaten to death by Neil Peart

Run over by a car

Equine encephalopathy virus

Slain

Death, lots of it

Stabbed

Domestic dispute

too Tyred

Hair appointment.

Growing pains.

Detained by the authorities.

Real cancellation. Proper reason.

Jetplane Landing: plane crash
Jetplane Landing: flight cancelled
Jetplane Landing: hijacked

Didn't know this particular venue was without a stage.

---Ne-Yo---
Torn meniscus, man.

---Swizz Beatz---
Got hit by a couple Federer serves.

---Common---
Runny nose and sore throat.

---The Temptations---
Checked back into rehab after another relapse.

council needed to work on the gas lines

gig clashes with her canonisation

have become unstuck in time

Rehab.

ended up on Mars, having to do battle with imps and cacodemons... and that's why he sent all those masked imposters to gigs

Arrested for a crime they did not commit

Stuck on the ringroad.

Gibbard cries off in mourning after Zoe Deschanel is run over by a taxi.

Starved to death

Stacks blew out

problems with their citizenship status

Lighting problems

Guitarist named by witness in fatal gardening attack. Police dealing with the grass.

even though the actual thing wasn't my idea.

The Prodigy: nobody checked it wasn't an 18+ venue before booking it.