Boards
Let's invent some new genres.
On the condition that sean has to write an article about whichever one we deem funniest, and send it off to Vice, Wire etc.
e.g.
Ship-hop - pioneered by Snoop Sealion and Starboard Bow Wow, a heady mix of classic sea shanties and sea-sick beats
Dog-whistle ambient - groundbreaking experimental music, recorded entirely at a pitch undetectable by humans. John Cage reportedly assembling a team of beagles/lawyers
Mood-drop.
Melancholic post-dubstep that ushers in a violent sense of despair every time the beat kicks in.
this describes regular dubstep a little too well
Tri-cle - gloopy, honey'n'b, treacly, dark, patience trying post-dubstep featuring many artists associated with the Triangle label.
Drop-Rawk - KoRn et al.
Rat!-rock - bands who should things like sound like Rat! Rat! Rat! as they experiment with rawk and The Drop
shout not should
Moogaze
Ambient drones recorded on a dairy farm.
Sounds purfect.
Sync-die - indie bands who make bland jangly electronic music for car adverts, and their careers die shortly after (see: Delphic)
STOP IT
surely Ind-Sync
Plop-Hop- Beats made with toilet sounds
Threestep
Deep droning dubstep set to a heavy waltz beat.
This could actually be really good, why is dance music all in 4/4?
I accidentally made waltz harsh noise for a bit at one of my recent shows
Quality Time Signature
There's this new music, it's called indie...
U LICK STRONGBOW OFF SMACKEDS BEERMATS
Tree House
Dance music for children and hippies.
Skindie
Skinhead indie
^see missing andy
Skindie
Skinhead indie
how about a little known genre called
RADIOHEAD
TLC-gaze - most things blogs are writing about right now.
Erectrocrash
Soundtrack music to automotive paraphilia. Possibly in Japan.
Ship-hop exists:
http://boingboing.net/2012/07/11/sea-shanty.html
Oh my god
I love the world
sigh-fi
Hugstep
Warm, post-ambient dreamscapes made by men who are old enough to know better... WITH WUBS!
Dentistcore
Dudstep
Poor quality dubstep.
Dubstop.
Please.
Power drill violence
Extreme metal that ditches guitars for household tools sent through amplifiers
is this close enough?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEC2Z01LnuE
there's so much to enjoy in that video
but that lad who just mooches up to the front and sits down, pint in hand, absolutely killed me.
Brilliant.
Bloke with the axe at 0'29" - isn't that Louis Theroux in a wig?
The bloke with the pint is at 2'09" btw. Fantastic moment.
IRA-disco
Oh this already exists, sorry
http://i.imgur.com/6FiXe.jpg
Rub-a-Dub
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7SrHRZruNk
Alt-Diet
Bands for people with alternative dietary requirements. Leading lights in the scene include:
Soy Division
KuoRn
Portobelle & Sebastian
Gluten-Free Radicals
Shellactose Intolerant
Good work
Cunty & Western
Ed Sheeran's new Americana direction
Cycledelia
A new wave of druggy, Bradley Wiggins-inspired acts with big sideburns
Choogaze
Like shoegaze, except all the bands wear very expensive limited edition shoes
Neggae
an inversion of Reggae beat where the 'cha' is on every 1st and 3rd beat, so that suddenly everything sounds like an enforced totalitarian march, despite every lyric still being about being stoned and in love.
John Lowe-fi
Shambling, amateurish indie-rock performed by fat blokes in garish polyester shirts
Dad-hop
Young hip-hop acts who unwittingly appeal to an older demographic, leading 40-something blokes to embarrass their kids by saying "This is pretty good, sounds like EPMD"
Sacredelic. Devotional trip music
Bipolar Pop. Music for the mentally ill not in da club.
Clunge
Pearl Jam/Nirvana-influenced wave of all-female bands
are you sure
that this doesnt already exist?
phone-fi
music that sounds like it was recorded by proxy through a phone box.
bus-step
a subgenre mixing happy-hardcore and trance that sounds like it's being played behind you by some stupid kids on the night bus.
ToryPOP
something that cameron would GENUINELY be comfortable dancing to.
Something to impress his freind Jeremy.
Can't win / don't try
Sean is the king of pointless genre creation. I'd swear he gains a sexual pleasure from it.
up your game people
you can do better than this. YES WE CAN!
Hall 'n Bass
A sub-genre of Drum 'n Oates
Already exists
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJVQJ4-n_cA
Gangsta madrigal
Tough gangs of sinewy men roaming south central LA & terrorising people with their close harmony singing
SPOOKY ROLLER DISCO
Bagpipe reggae
Ooops sorry, bindun:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3mfsbE4bVk
Math-Mariachi
I'm trying this one out - no joke!
Dalstoncore
Male Bonding etc..
Rad!
Doo-Hop
Doo-Wop crossed with Hip-Hop