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4. What They Have: A useless horn section.
What They Need: A sound man.
Whenever I see a band on a stage filled with every resident of their Brooklyn co-op, the first thing I think is, "How they hell are they getting paid?" The second thing I think is, "Couldn't any of them take up sound engineering instead of the zither?"
The bottom line is that it's fine if you want to look good, but if you spend more time carefully crafting your wardrobe and personal style than you do learning how to play your instrument, you are no different than Katy Perry or any other pop icon you love to hate.
...you want to use that phrase...
Every time a band forms in Brooklyn, an angel wanks itself to death?