Boards

I mean it's not totally rubbish but it's a bit boring isn't it? I mean I really liked the stuff on 'The Fame Monster' - a great collection of well crafted pop hits, dance anthems destined to embed themselves and make a chart impact. This, in comparison, is genuinely tiring to listen to. Dull, repetitive and samey.

Don't know if it'll grow on me - not sure if I can be bothered to give it the chance now.

I'm gonna stick 'Dancer In The Dark' on now and remind myself that the girl can actually produce great tunes.

Marry the night: Boring. Really really boring. Starts off slow and then theres a dance beat thing. 3/10.
Born this way. Hard too deny its a decent catchy pop single (albeit madonna's decent catchy pop single). But those lyrics are horribly patronising. 6/10
Government Hooker. I actually quite like this. In a weird way, sounding a bit like lo-fi 80's dance, maybe a little industrial too. Lyrics are equally awful, but I guess ill just have to ignore those. 8/10.
Judas. Equally good. Very catchy, and a nice electro breakdown thing going on. I'm quite liking those verses too. I don't quite understand why she has to do the gibberish thing in her songs though. 8/10
Americano. Starts off with a sort of spanish/mexican feel. Continues with this theme, just lazily adding some beats'n'bass on top. Filler. 4/10.
Hair. For some reason the first ten seconds reminded me of Little Baby Nothing by the manics. Big catchy anthem type thing. Obviously trying to be as "gay" (whatever that even means these days) as possible. This is good pop mostly, save for the bit halfway through which sounds a little like latter day Black Eyed Peas (unforgivable basically). 7/10.
Scheiße. This is the one where she speaks German. Or repeats one phrase in German over and over and over. Uses the same beats as practically every other song on this album, and isn't as melodically strong. 5/10.
Bloody Mary. Pizzicato. Then plods along over a lazy beats and some bass. Chorus is especially lacking. Then there is an inexplicable scream (probably trying to be edgy - and failing). This song is so fucking boring I didnt even get through all of it. 2/10.
Bad Kids. Ooooh, punk rock! Or not. Dance beats with a little bit of hair metal guitar. I dont think the chorus deserves a spot on this album, it just doesnt gel properly. Probably should have been a B-side (if pop acts even make them these days). However, funny for the bit where she says "I'm a twit". 3/10.
Highway Unicorn (Road to Love). And it surprisingly gets good again. Quite forceful beats with a bass line similar to that on Judas. Chorus is actually catchy, if sickeningly cheesy. 7/10.
Heavy Metal Lover. Is this where Gaga shows her love of Dillinger Escape Plan and Chimaira? Of course not. LFO'd synth bass over a mid tempo beat. What is the fucking point in this song? 2/10.
Electric Chapel. Sounds abot 30x more metal than the one that referenced the genre. Still, that's not very metal, as all there is is some 80's hair rock guitar in the intro. But I cant really start criticising Gaga for not being metal. Actually quite good this one. Nice riff, slightly more understated than a lot of the other tracks on the album, while having a genuine sense of direction. Not a full blown pop chorus as such, but what is the works very well. Ooh, and a squealing guitar solo too. 8/10.
You & I. Oh dear god. This is the nadir. Genuinely offensive to my ears. Tries to do a hey jude, and ends up sounding like Bonnie Tyler or something awful. Avoid. Like the plague. 0/10.
The Edge of Glory. Sounding alright. Has a clear melody, even if it sounds like most other songs on the album (and in that charts). Good chorus again. 7/10.

Basic verdict: Pitchfork style 5.0. Not nearly as good as hype suggests. Not nearly as bad as most "indie" people seem to say. Only one track is genuinely offensive to my ears, but none are outstanding.

This, my friends, is why I am not going into music journalism.

The title track is so cringeworthy and pandering and awful and gross.

Government Hooker and Judas in particular but a fair few forgettable songs and outright duds... more of these then good songs make this unlike the other GaGa albums which were consistently good at the very least and great at its prime... this album veers from awful to decent with the odd very good song thrown in. Utterly disappointing 4.5/10

Which is a shame.

Well, not often.

Lady Gaga and Eurovision are not on the same level. Do millions of people around the world continually listen to Eurovision songs and dance to them in clubs up and down the country? No. Do Eurovision performers have successive worldwide number 1 hits? No.

I don't like the idea that people 'fall' for a lie of music. That's basically saying that people are thick, and I don't believe they are. People like something because they enjoy it, not because they're stupid. The fact that they are enjoying Lady Gaga shouldn't devalue their judgement.

As a collection of separate dance anthems it sounds fine. They're a bit samey when strung back to back, but individually they are mostly fine.

I find it odd that the 'Madonna' thing is thrown at her - Madonna is music that your mum or your gay dad danced to, and Maddie hasn't released anything worth a damn in a decade. Gaga is merely pumping out some decent new music in a similar vein. Not original, but neither is anything else.

For example:

Hog
Rev It Up, You Idiots
Gaga The Human Motorbike

how this is even possible i don't know?

kate bush is as far as i'm concerned, a genius
but i don't know why most of the people who would normally deride things like lady gaga as shit seem to like her. she really is completely substandard as far as pop goes..

who the fuck thought that album cover would be a good idea?