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This is well worth reading http://audiomuffin.com/music-promotion-guide
Concise and good.
You'd be stunned how impersonal 99% of the 700 or so emails I get each day are. Or the worst days I get 1300+ emails but that's usually my own fault for replying. Some cntrl-v bashers don't even get my name right (I'm not Conor or Colin or Krissi). Some even manage to get my email address right and then call me Shawn, which is better than being impersonal but it shows less than an nano-second of attention to the importance of communication, in the "communication age". Some people are still caught in the information age bubble, sure that if they throw enough shit at enough people, something good will come of it. Meanwhile, people like me are sick of having shit thrown at us.
Summing up music succinctly, even with a palette of words that give texture or even with an image, should be piss easy. With Bat for Lashes including her press shots when we sent emails did most of the hard work of explaining who she was.
I pretty much delete 80% of my emails by just reading the subject line. Luring people in by making what you do seem personally relevant, as well as exciting, should be easy but I get few emails that even come close.