Does anyone read this? www.babysue.com
Been reading it for several years now, and I'm always impressed how good the guy is at writing good concise reviews of the music. Also, it just seems wonderfully free of hipster trendiness and follow-the-pack mentality. It has prompted me to check out and buy some things that otherwise might have passed me by.
The closest thing I can think of is KiK's capsule reviews.
He does come up with some really bizarre comments, though!