“When the Jews return to Zion
And a comet rips the sky
And the Holy Roman Empire rises
Then you and I must die.
From the eternal sea he rises,
Creating armies on either shore,
Turning man against his brother
‘Til man exists no more”
– Father Brennan. The Omen
If there was ever any doubt that Bono is the greatest force of evil and hypocrisy in the world today then surely his appearances (albeit via pre-recorded messages and video screens) at both major party conferences confirms that this bile filled, self appointed deity and all round cult of personality inducer has crossed the boundary into unparalleled loathsomeness. The fact that both parties thought it was necessary to listen to the opinion of this man has led to an epiphany – don’t vote. If your choice is between two such groups of misguided smug fools, then by voting you are only encouraging them, and more importantly, you’re encouraging Bono. To eradicate Bono we must boycott everything he touches, call out his contradictions, and reveal him to be the callous egotistical monster he has become.
Sucking David Cameron’s arse isn’t the final straw; it went beyond that a long long time ago. Isn’t it enough that he has spent decades believing he has some basis to hobnob with the worlds leaders and comment on political issues whilst throwing literally millions of pounds into making shiny giant lemons and big screens as the backdrop for his live shows (and knowing nothing about the governance of a nation)? That his concept of fighting AIDS in Africa involved getting the leading MAJOR CORPORATIONS to sell ‘Red’ branded iPods, phones, and other tech crap so a small part of the profits would bypass the aforementioned MAJOR CORPORATIONS and go straight to Africa actually ended in a huge loss making company and lots of money for MAJOR CORPORATIONS? Or that he had the nerve to whine about the Irish government removing tax breaks for musicians in the credit crunch, and actually declared he would leave his homeland to avoid the tax (which he has done), even though he is a fucking millionaire and there is a fucking economic crisis affecting normal Irish people? Then he has the fucking nerve to tell the leaders of the world how to spend their tax? That he has bought a large chunk of Forbes magazine? Or that U2 made $389 million on their last tour (give it to the fight against AIDS in Africa you fuck!)? That he pretends to care about the world but has his hat flown on private jet to ‘meet’ him? Or that he is an unrepentant capitalist engaging in all the activities, and with all corporations, that have helped ensure the Third World will be in debt for an indefinite period and the gap between the wealthy (Bono) and poor (the 3rd world) grows constantly larger? That he really cares about his status more than those dirty little dying children – who clearly don’t understand fashion? That he acts like a fucking saint, but will never let you see his eyes?