Hello. I'm launching my new clubnight on Sunday at Proud Galleries in Camden, and I'd like you all to come.
Bat Attack! will take place on the first and third Sundays of every month, and each time we're transforming the venue into a weird little wonderland packed full of actors, props and odd games for you to play.
We've teamed up with The London Leisure Pirates - anyone who's been to Secret Garden Party or ventured up to Trash City or Shangri La at Glastonbury will know of their work - to bring some of their debauched brilliance to the night.
This month we've turned Proud into a Gentleman's Office of Correspondence, so put on your finest tweed jacket, a pair of well-polished brogues and a handlebar moustache and come along to muck in on the typewriters!
The Leisure Pirates will also be organising the debauched 'Miss Shapely Ankle 2009', and the lewd flesh-flashing 'Wet Sock Competition', as well as testing your wares in the Stiff Upper Lip challenges.
For those of you who have work on Monday morning, Doctor Liability Eden HMU will be on hand to dispense doctor's notes for the boss.
On top of that, we've got live music from The Hot Melts, plus DJ sets from Robots in Disguise, Max Panic and the Bat Attack! residents.
Doors open 7:30pm - 12:30am, and entry is normally a fiver before 10pm/eight pounds after, but if you send an email with your name and your favourite moustachioed celebrity to firstname.lastname@example.org before Sunday, then it's guestlists all round for the first night...
Hope to see some of you there. It's going to be fun!