Mark Prindle has always been kind of entertaining, but his new micro-reviews things is hilarious. He's like the thinking person's kissinginkansas. See your favourite band get dismissed in two misinformed and hastily-written sentences here:
Some random highlights:
Duffy - Good god, what an annoying voice! She sounds like a little black girl singing into an oscillating fan!
Franz Ferdinand - I HATE THIS BAND. Scottish hookless disco-rock with arrogant, weedy vocals. To me, they represent everything that's wrong with today's so-called "rock" music, and it boggles my mind that ANYBODY IN THE WORLD finds this shit appealing. I have their first album. I've listened to it twice. It's fucking HORRIBLE.
Joanna Newsom - A harp-playin' pianist woman with a ludicrously childlike voice. Might appeal to "Juno" fans. Sounds like a mixture of vomit and shit to me.
Klaxons - Fruity and obnoxious British dance-rock-pop with lots of gross falsetto vocals. Truly awful. Just fucking awful.
The Knife - Swedish electronic-pop duo (girl singer). Minimalist, slow and dull, like a Kraftwerk tribute band geared towards 40-year-old women.
Vampire Weekend - Baroque-ska!? Like a hellish mix of UB40 and The Left Banke.
Xiu Xiu - Experimental trio with strummy guitars, xylophones, Chinese instruments, sax, synth blurbles, unrecognizable noises and EXTREMELY ANNOYING sub-David Byrne 'nervous' vocals. They seem to think that if you cram enough different sounds into the mix, it doesn't matter that your songs are boring and directionless. I hate this band.